sans rien dire

satisfaction

2009-07-24T12:46:00.004+08:00

The makings of a satisfying day.
I watched a pretty decent movie.
I did something to take charge of my health and physical well-being.
I had what I like to refer to as The Bubble Bath Extravaganza. Aromatherapy oils. Moisture mask. Exfoliating scrub. Neroli Jasmine bath foam. Green tea scrub.
I made dinner and kick ass lime juice with organically grown limes.

Don't you just love the feeling? Unfortunately, it kinda makes you want more.

breakfast

2009-07-12T16:27:00.003+08:00

Ask yourself this - how many times have you taken that meal for granted? We all know it is "the most important meal of the day", but come on. Unless it's the weekend, breakfast for me usually takes less than five minutes and is eaten standing up/getting stuff together for work/on the way to work. On the rare occasion, I take some time to whip up a healthy breakfast smoothie.

Reading this, kinda sorta changed my mind. I so want to take breakfast more seriously. But does that mean getting up earlier? And eating - OATS?! It's not like I have unhealthy things for breakfast anyway. My smoothies are made with frozen strawberries (no added sugar), sugar-free apple juice, a handful of oats (yuck) to slow down the absorption of sugar (or so says the Jamie Oliver book), bananas and natural yogurt. I have toast (okay, fine - it's white bread. bad!) most of the time, sometimes French toast. I'm not reaaaaally fond of breakfast egg-things. I quite like croissants, to put it mildly. Sometimes, I have cereal (coated with honey - bad?)

Hmm. Might have to give this some more thought.

"When you wake up, you have an extraordinary opportunity to put something powerful inside of you that will energize, nourish and sustain your being for the whole day."

hellogoodbye

2009-06-27T23:04:00.003+08:00

Thursday night, my dad left for Switzerland. Cousin N is getting married next weekend. I haven't figured out why I'm not there. I mean, I have reasons (mostly logistic ones), but they're not all that great, to be perfectly honest. That same night, cousin K arrived from New Zealand for a short holiday, so I decided to tag along to the airport. I saw a grand total of four people wearing masks - people don't seem to mind they could catch the dreaded flu, huh. I guess if they did, there'd be less air travel but where's the fun in that.

I. Need. A. Holiday.

I'm quite tempted to just go. But we all know the chances of that happening are pretty close to nonexistent.

"There is a land called Passive Aggressiva, and I am their Queen."

four

2009-05-21T20:54:00.002+08:00

I've been getting up at 4 a.m. the last couple of nights. I haven't a clue why. Hopefully today's yoga session tired me out enough to sleep through the night.

I'm really inconsistent with this thing, huh. Another thing I'm really inconsistent with (other than my sleeping patterns...) is my skin care regime. It's quite haphazard. I actually went for a facial today and the lady kinda freaked me out. I am SO cleansing and toning and moisturizing every day! And scrubbing and masking twice a week! Or at least once. Yeeesh!

dig out your soul

2009-04-08T09:56:00.001+08:00

I watched Oasis live last weekend.

question

2009-04-08T09:50:00.002+08:00

It's Lent, which to the uninitiated, is the period of 40-odd days before Easter where people give up the things they like, typically meat and alcohol. We never do the whole 40 days, but usually just the last week. Talking to my friends who are sorta fasting had me wondering about something, cuz they didn't give up all types of meat - they're still okay with having seafood. So how come it's okay to have fish but not chicken? They're both still animals. Are sea creatures lesser animals? Is it less cruel to kill a fish than it is to kill a chicken?

pourquoi??

rewind

2009-02-12T22:40:00.004+08:00

Since I started paying this thing a little more attention, I've been browsing through a couple of old posts. Today, I had a bit of time to spare and curiosity got the better of me - I went way back to the beginning and worked my way forward. I was quite surprised at what I found, and was very glad that I managed to capture those memories in a way that takes me back to that time. I was even telling A that I had a few deep moments here and there ;) but seriously, at the end of the day (and I've said this before...), this is more for me than anything. This thing, it's like a guide to me. Makes me wonder if should restrict access (not that I think anyone remembers this anyway...). Except maybe V. And whoever decides to Google me...

I made cupcakes today. Totally spur of the moment. Vanilla cupcakes (with real vanilla all the way from Bali - I so miss Bali!!) with frosting and chocolate sprinkles.

related and otherwise

2009-02-10T21:52:00.004+08:00

There goes the gorgeous stretch of long weekends...

The last one was spent at the beach for a day, and the next day, randomly deciding to stop by two bookshops to see if I could get my hands on the follow-up to a book I recently finished. It was extremely different from what I usually go for, but so riveting at points that I could barely stand to put it down. I found myself flipping forward a couple of pages one night, which is something I never do! The first book was completely unavailable, so I was most relieved that I got one of the two last copies!

On a somewhat related note, how awesome is getting mail the old-fashioned way?! This time around, I was the sender. But let me tell you - sending someone something and having tell you all about it, how they reacted...everything about the whole experience - is pretty, damn awesome.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I ended up going for a Bollywood Dance class last night. It's not so much a dance as it is a workout to songs from Hindi movies, but it was quite the fun ;) it was as physically intense as the top-secret dance practices before the wedding, which I just realized isn't up here at all! The wedding deserves like a website for itself, really.

This started of as me wanting to put up some more of the raw, unedited pieces I did for my Feature Writing class, but then I found it already here! This non-bloggy thing has got SO much stuff on it, seriously...

life's like an hourglass glued to the table

2009-02-04T23:03:00.005+08:00

Know how things seem fun for a while, then you forget all about them? Or get caught up in too many other things?

Yeah.

December was...eventful. I was quite pleasantly surprised one Sunday morning, which was just the beginning of two weeks of the lowest of lows and the highest of highs, all at the same time. Christmas without Charlie, and slightly different from our usual, as dad's family were all over the place. Good, all the same. Laughs, presents, food. New Year's was memorable, to say the least. Again, different - a park (and in high heels, too...) to watch fireworks. And now, we're already a month into the new year. Today, someone else left. But on the bright side, I now have two dresses and a top, yaay!

It's all about time, though, isn't it. You're in that moment and it feels like you have so many more, that this isn't at all going to come to an end anytime soon. Until it does and you're left yearning, wondering how come it feels like forever when it's only been a few weeks, and how those moments seem now to have gone by so damn quickly.

A watch, one that stops time. A teleporter. A desert island (or maybe a log cabin in the mountains...).

These are the things I want right now. In other words, to be left alone, just us, without having to worry about the rest of the world.

To stop the sand in that hourglass. Just for a little while.

*Anna Nalick - Breathe (2 A.M.)

you.

2008-12-09T22:58:00.002+08:00

Almost a month later, and I don't even know where to start.

The booklets looked gorgeous, as did everything else. I did eventually find shoes and clothes and accessories...and I kinda sorta rocked my Bachelorette Party badge ;)

The wedding was quite the experience, in more ways than one. Clubbing till dawn with a view of the ocean from the dance floor. Too little sleep. Cousins I haven't seen in the longest time. Performing after two months of secret dance practices. Dressing up every night. Meeting all sorts of lovely people...and the wedding itself!

Okay - confession. The only reason I'm doing this is cuz I found out that when you Google me, you get this website. Obviously, I didn't Google myself. But hello, the person (people?) who did :)

oh. my. god.

2008-11-18T22:50:00.003+08:00

I was telling P about all the things I have to do in the next couple of days, and I freaked.

Here it is, so you can freak with me.

I'm printing the program booklets for my cousin's wedding (which will be in Bali in under two weeks!!). That's 400 pages.
The official opening of the place I work at is this weekend. There's SO much to do for that! We've got some deputy minister dude coming, a bunch of other VIPs...
Then, there's the opening itself.
Relatives are arriving one by one. Dinner tomorrow. Another on Friday.
A birthday on Thursday.
Engagement dinner on Saturday
I have to get my hair cut this week.
I have no shoes for the wedding.
I have to decide on accessories, bag/no bag...
I have to start thinking about the things I'm going to wear and packing!
I have to remember to bring the Bachelorette Party badges. I can sooo see myself forgetting them, and they're way too hot to not use.
Sunday is our final secret meeting before the wedding.
I'm receiving an award on Friday morning. No idea what I'm going to wear for that either.
Monday I've got my final fitting for the dress and we're hosting a bridal shower/dessert party thing. For which I need to sort out chocolate fondue stuff and bake cupcakes.

I think that about covers it for now. Gahhh.

buying things without paying for them

2008-11-06T19:19:00.003+08:00

It was my day off from work and I had a bunch of errands to do. I need shoes for the wedding, I needed to pick up my necklace and my cousin needed a margarita. We later ended up in MPH cuz I have RM300 book vouchers to spend. It felt like a task at first - I kept thinking about how much easier it would have been if I had just had that in cash. But we walked around anyway, and I came home with a Sophie Kinsella book I wanted a while back, and a cupcake set type thing. It comes with a recipe book, a silicone tray, but more importantly, a piping bag and five different nozzles...FUN! If I like you enough, you should expect cupcakes. Walking around and picking up random things is no longer a task.

of bats and buddhas

2008-11-04T19:14:00.002+08:00

I kinda freaked when I was filling in the date on a feedback form the other day. It was the first of November. NOVEMBER!!

In other news, the Oasis CD has moved from my desk to my CD player, where it lies pretty much un-listened to. Blasphemous, I know. I need to sort that out.

The Diwali/Grad party was...a lot of things. It was the first time ever I wore a sari, so moving around was very much a controlled process (as opposed to an automatic one, as it should be). There were quite a few surprises - I had no idea what would be going on, and also in the form of people I didn't quite completely expect to be there. But it was nice, tho.

I received a letter today. Apparently, the lovely people at the University of H in England have decided to give me an award for Year 3 performance...yaay! Although it means another awards ceremony...

We had a gorgeous Thai dinner the other night. It was mum's birthday and we ended up in The Curve, deciding between Fridays (which had been decorated for Halloween) and Sutra (which has the coolest walls full of Buddhas). I miss Bangkok. I miss Bali (which will be taken care of very soon). I miss everything, really. I could go on :)

And I miss Charlie. It's awful to think it's been almost a year.

hmmm...

2008-10-20T10:06:00.003+08:00

It's been a while (I really should stop saying that) since my Feature Writing class (which I aced, btw...). Same story, different day. But who doesn't get distracted and forget all about their non-blog blogs?

Okay, a lot of people, but I'm not a lot of people.

Things are hectic. There's work, there's the wedding and wedding-related things (the surprise, the dress...), the grad/Diwali party my parents are throwing...and there's also the shiny new Oasis CD that's sitting on my desk which I haven't even begun to listen to. That, however, is at the TOP of my list of things to do - even before Kirby Atwood ;)

Here's to starting again! *clinks glass* for me. I just realized that October is pretty much over. Where are the weeks going?!

untitled

2008-07-24T22:53:00.013+08:00

This is the first assignment I wrote for my Feature Writing class. Writing fiction was a lot more difficult than I had expected, and I had actually written almost one whole piece before deciding on a complete re-write. We were told that titles are unnecessary, and I have to agree cuz I really don't have one and I don't quite see the need. It'll probably just influence your perception about the story, so here it is, in all its titleless glory. I still feel kinda insecure about it, but the (more than) decent grade helped :) Much thanks to my editors, P and V.

***

The tall, glass windows and steel fixtures that surrounded her made her feel as though she was on board a futuristic space shuttle, headed for a destination unknown. The cool blast of air-conditioning hit her as the automatic doors slid open. It was a welcomed relief from the stifling heat of the car park. Walking into the hall, she was immediately surrounded by throngs of people, each of them seemingly set on a personal mission. How many of them were here for the same reason she was, she wondered. The butterflies that had been flitting around in her stomach for the last couple of hours had somehow learnt to salsa. She felt her heartbeat quicken as her eyes searched the hall for a wall of displays. Spotting them, she struggled to make her way through the crowd. The place was unusually packed, she thought to herself, recalling the last time she was here. It had been a breeze then, unlike today. She finally arrived at the displays only to find that his flight had been delayed. She sighed heavily, realizing that she would be spending the next hour in this massively congested arrival hall. Yet another hour that she would not be spending with him.

Her stomach rumbled, interrupting her thoughts. She had skipped breakfast, having not slept well the night before. Thoughts and plans for the weekend had consumed her and made a good night’s rest an elusive desire. By the time she finally fell asleep, it was almost time to leave for the airport. She had decided to trade breakfast for a few more minutes in bed. Now, she thought to herself, I really need some food.

Her eyes searched the hall again, this time for a different reason. There was a fast food restaurant filled with families and queues that stretched its length. Harried parents were trying to feed their children and themselves, and the noise emanating from that corner of the hall was enough to send her scurrying in the opposite direction. Glimpsing a café a little farther away from the madness, she headed towards it. It was crowded as well, but decidedly less noisy as its patrons were mostly people her own age. Stepping into its cozy warmth, she breathed in the aroma of coffee that permeated the air and glanced around. There was a woman in a long, printed skirt, sitting by herself and flipping through a tattered copy of a travel guide. There was a man with dreadlocks, looking at his laptop screen with a male friend. Then, she caught sight of an empty armchair tucked away in the corner of the shop. She hurried to the counter to place her order, hoping that no one else would get to it before she did.

The queue had only three people in front of her, and by the time she scanned the rather extensive menu, it was her turn.

“Good morning, how can I help you?” asked the floppy-haired teenager behind the counter.

Momentarily distracted by large, metallic ball beneath his lower lip, she paused, trying to remember what she had decided on having.

“I’ll have a…chocolate croissant and a caramel hot chocolate, please,” she told him while rummaging through her bag for her purse. He tapped her order onto the computer screen in front of him. After paying him, she hurried to the armchair only to find that it was now occupied. The man had his back towards her, but she could see that the armchair opposite his was empty. Deciding to find out if that was taken as well, she walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and she felt her breath catch in her throat. Behind his wire-rimmed glasses, he had deep, green eyes. His dark hair was swept off his forehead with a casualness that suggested just the opposite. He raised his eyebrows questioningly at her.

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?” she asked, pointing to the empty armchair, hoping that the words she had uttered were audible and more importantly, in coherent English.

He glanced briefly at the chair before shaking his head and motioning for her to join him. She placed her bag on the table between them, next to his mug of steaming black coffee. Sinking into the purple velvet of the chair, she took a deep breath and snuck a peek at the young man in front of her. He was wearing a white, pin-striped shirt and reading a thick novel with yellowed pages. As she was trying to read its title, a waiter arrived at their table with her order, causing the man to look up. Once the waiter had left, he flashed a dazzling smile at her and introduced himself.

“Hi, I’m Damien," he said, extending his hand.

“Mia,” she replied, shaking his hand. She hoped that he didn’t notice her slightly sweaty palms.

The butterflies in her stomach had begun their salsa dance again. She smiled at Damien, trying to figure out the attraction she felt to this stranger.

“What brings you here?” he asked, slipping a colorful bookmark between the pages of his novel.

She hesitated, trying to resist the urge to tell him the entire story. For reasons she couldn’t explain, she felt a connection to this person who mere minutes ago, knew nothing of her existence. She felt like she could tell him anything.

“I’m picking my fiancé up,” she began.

His intent gaze didn’t waver. He nodded slightly, not saying a word but somehow compelling her to say more. She suddenly found herself describing the long-distance relationship she had been in for the last four years. The toll it had taken on her, but also how she lived for whatever time they were able to spend together. She told him about the vacations they had taken. The weekend trips to Bangkok and Bali. Skiing in the Swiss Alps. Shopping in Milan. She also expressed the emotional anguish she felt every time they said goodbye. Damien just sat there, occasionally sipping his coffee, listening to every word she said. It was an intense experience for her – she was animated, gesturing and talking ever so quickly. He, on the other hand, was the complete opposite – sitting absolutely still except for the occasional nod.

Before she knew it, she found herself telling him the doubts she had about her impending nuptials. How she wasn’t sure if she was willing to uproot herself from her familiar surroundings, her friends and family – to live in a foreign country, jet-setting around the world whenever necessary. She talked about how intense their relationship was and how much they cared about each other, but how she didn’t know if that was enough. Her eyes welled up as she told him of her fears. He picked up a serviette from the table and offered it to her, her croissant and hot chocolate long forgotten. She took it from him and their fingertips grazed. All of a sudden, the butterflies were now moving to a faster, more intense rhythm. Warning bells sounded in her mind. She took a deep breath and excused herself to go to the washroom.

Standing at the sink, she splashed cold water onto her face. As she picked up a paper napkin, she thought about what had just happened. I can’t believe I told him all that, she thought to herself.

“What was I thinking?” she asked her reflection, drawing curious glances from the other women.

By the time she had brushed her hair and reapplied her make-up, she had devised a plan. She was going to tell him that she had to leave immediately, not wanting to spend another minute under the scrutiny of his attentive gaze.
She arrived back at their table at the exact moment a waiter did. Damien had thoughtfully asked for her croissant and hot chocolate to be reheated. Realizing that she was still hungry, she sank once more into the soft, velvet-covered chair. I’m just going to get this over with, she told herself. She reluctantly looked up to thank him. He flashed her that smile again as she took a bite of the warm, buttery croissant. His eyes never left her, and this was now beginning to unnerve her. She quickly finished the croissant and set the plate down.

“Look,” she began, sitting up. “I haven’t the slightest clue why I told you all those things. I love him. I really do. And we’re getting married in two weeks,” she continued.

He regarded her for a moment before leaning forward, closing the physical distance between them.

“Are you trying to convince me, or are you trying to convince yourself?” he asked.

She cursed silently at how her body welcomed his intrusion of her personal space. I’m going to murder those pesky butterflies, she thought to herself as she felt them start to flutter again. Sighing, she looked away, torn between wanting to defend herself and getting up and leaving. Why should I have to explain myself to this stranger, she asked herself, knowing full well that it was because she actually cared what he thought of her. The attraction she felt towards him unsettled her. She decided to leave before she did anything else that she might later regret. She looked back at him, finding that he hadn’t moved. Shaking her head, she picked up her mug, downing its lukewarm contents.

“Thank you for listening, but I have to go now,” she said as she got up and turned around to leave, not really meeting his eyes.

Suddenly, she felt his fingers around her wrist. She stopped and turned to face him. He was standing up now, towering above her.

“I know you felt everything I felt,” he said softly, his deep voice competing with the surrounding sounds of cutlery and conversation. He stroked the inside of her wrist with his thumb.

She stood there, not quite sure what she should do. Her heart was racing. She was drawn towards him – to his intensity and the way he made her feel she could say anything. At the same time, thoughts of her fiancé fought for her attention. His flight would be arriving at any minute, she reminded herself, desperate for a solution to the dilemma she found herself in.

“Excuse me, is this table taken?” A young woman was standing in front of them, gesturing to their table. She had shattered the connection Damien and Mia had shared only moments before.

Damien looked at Mia, expectantly. She glanced back at him, shook her head and said to the woman, “It’s all yours,” before walking away.

“Wait!” she heard him call out. Ignoring him, she walked faster and disappeared into the crowd.

Back in the arrival hall, she wandered through the hordes of people, looking for a place to sit and wait. She walked past a group of drivers holding up placards with names on them, waiting for their guests. Past banks of seats until she finally spotted an empty one. She settled down in between an old man clutching his walking stick and a young boy clutching a PSP. She glanced at the dials of the diamond-encrusted watch on her wrist, a gift from her fiancé whom she would be seeing very soon. That realization suddenly filled her with a sense of guilt.

Wait.

Why should I feel guilty, she asked herself, staring at the shiny, marble floor. It’s not like anything happened. We just talked! Her attempts at rationalizing her uncharacteristic behavior failed to relieve the sinking feeling she had in her stomach. She looked around, trying to distract herself. It seemed like a group of people had just entered the hall. Wheeling trolleys laden with bags, they searched for familiar faces among the masses. There were tearful reunions, so unlike the tearful farewells taking place in the departure hall. She smiled as she watched a woman about her age jump into the arms of a young man, wrapping her arms around him tightly. The sight warmed her, and she got up, walking towards the entrance of the hall.

She stood on her tiptoes, trying to see past the people gathered there. Another group of weary travelers were making their way into the hall. Her eyes parted the crowd, searching for that familiar tumble of unruly curls. The butterflies started to dance again. This, she thought to herself, is real. She tried to push images of those piercing, green eyes out of her mind. Everything that had happened with Damien was nothing but cold feet and perfectly understandable, she told herself. She glanced down at her watch again, wondering what was taking him so long. All of a sudden, there he was, standing in front of her with the largest bouquet of purple orchids she had ever seen.

His charcoal suit, unbuttoned to reveal a light blue shirt, looked immaculate even after a long-haul flight. With a heart-warming smile, he enveloped her in a hug that literally took her breath away.

“I’ve missed you,” he said, holding her close.

Before she could reply, she saw Damien over her fiancé’s shoulder, watching them from across the hall. That intense, unwavering gaze sent a chill down her spine. Hurriedly pulling away from her fiancé, she explained that she had been waiting in the crowded hall for a long time and just wanted to get out of there. His puzzled expression softened. He took her hand in his, leading her towards the elevators. She cast a glance over her shoulder to where she had seen Damien, looking again for those green eyes. He wasn’t there, and she breathed a sigh of relief. The wretched butterflies finally settled down.

The next evening, she accompanied her fiancé to a dinner he had organized to welcome his new colleague to the city. The past day had been utter bliss, spent relishing the pleasure of each other’s company and sorting out a few last minute wedding details. They walked up to the bar, where a tall man was standing with a drink in one hand. He had his back towards them, and turned around when he was tapped on the shoulder.

“Mia, I’d like you to meet Damien,” said her fiancé.

Her mouth went dry, her heart started to pound. The butterflies had begun to dance again, this time to an unbridled, almost ferocious beat.

domesticated...NOT

2008-07-24T15:13:00.003+08:00

Exactly a week ago was the first day of my self-imposed hiatus from all things academic. Last Wednesday, I had my last final. It was around then that I decided to go vegetarian three times a week for a month. I had momentarily entertained the idea of doing it for a whole month, but that would be unrealistic (I'd run out of things to eat before you can say 'vegetarian'). Now that I have pretty much, absolutely nothing to do until I decide otherwise, I have been spending some time in the kitchen. I made a vegetable curry the other day, and today was asparagus with vegetarian sambal belacan and a stir-fry (broccoli, tofu, corn and cauliflower with vegetarian oyster sauce).

On Tuesday, I went over to H's to make konnyaku jelly for a dinner she was going to. Somehow, we didn't feel satisfied so we came back to my house and made cupcakes. Since I had a pot of Swiss chocolate leftover from an impromptu chocolate fondue/Taboo party I decided to throw, we stuffed bits of chocolate into the cupcake batter just before they went into the oven. The result? Pure deliciousness. Pictures courtesy of H.

And as I have said before, I'm not domestic :)

for granted

2008-07-24T15:06:00.003+08:00

Early yesterday morning, a pipe decided to burst somewhere in SS2. THe result? We had no water all day. At first they said the water will be back by noon. Noon became 3, which became 6, which became 7, which became 9...and then, they stopped answering the phone.

I was washing up before bed after coming home from a place called KTZ with the friends (they have some pretty strange things). I had left the water running for a bit, and then I had a moment. When was the last time I turned on a tap and not expected clean water to come gushing out? We're such fools.

tunnel vision

2008-05-31T00:49:00.001+08:00

**Edited Version**

this time, the assignment was to look out a window for ten minutes, then write about what you remember seeing for the next ten. critique.

***

In stillness, movement captivates.

The leaves on a neighbor’s tree wave gently in the soft breeze. An ant makes its way across the porch tiles. Another ant, a little further away, heads in the opposite direction. The wind picks up – branches sway, a dead leaf glides gently to the ground. Outside, a red and white taxi passes by. The curtain waves, and the scene is momentarily viewed from behind a haze of gold. A butterfly with black and yellow wings flits from a plant to another, its wings fluttering steadily. Outside now, a blue car. Sunlight is dimmed by a passing cloud and everything turns a shade darker. There is another butterfly. A woman with large, black sunglasses and a fuchsia-colored headscarf walks by. The palm tree casts a shadow on the grass beneath it. The passing cloud is gone, and everything is bright again.

In movement, stillness captivates. Vibrant colors are everywhere. The light green of the blades of grass. The pink of a hibiscus. The deep purple of large leaves. The white of small flowers. The grey of stepping stones.

Sounds are everywhere. The drone of football news that almost drowns out the trickling water from an indoor fountain. The chirping of a bird. A phone rings. One-sided conversation.

inked

2008-05-29T22:10:00.002+08:00

It's done. Three weeks passed by so quickly. I walked into the shop, told them how I wanted things, came back 15 minutes later, made some changes and I was good to go. Half an hour later, I walked out with a butterfly on my left ankle. When the needle first touched my skin, I asked myself - is that it? And seriously, it didn't hurt nearly as much as I expected it to. Don't get me wrong, there were bad moments. But cuz the whole thing was over pretty quickly, it wasn't so bad. Now comes the fun part - healing.

of self-imposed silence

2008-05-28T19:42:00.003+08:00

In yesterday's Feature Writing class, we were given a little assignment. Here's the piece I wrote on it. Comment away, s'il vous plaît.

***

I glanced at what was written in the notebook in front of me: “No verbal communication from 6 p.m. to 12 a.m.”. There was no way that this was going to happen, I thought to myself. I put my things away and left the lecture hall.

It had been a long day – back-to-back classes, defending a thesis I had been working on for almost a year, and then, attempting to tutor a preadolescent in the nuances of the Malay language – a feat far more challenging than it appeared. But I was finally back home and looking forward to a long, hot shower when I remembered this little assignment. Before I could talk myself out of doing it, I decided to give it a shot. With much reluctance, I informed my mother that I would not be communicating verbally for the next five hours. Her reaction? “How ridiculous!” It was 7 p.m.

While in the shower, it appeared that my mind was attempting to make up for the silence I would be subjecting myself to. Thoughts raced through my mind. How would I say the things I needed to say? Paper and pencil? Charades? Can I actually do this for five whole hours? Would my other senses be heightened now? I paused momentarily – did my papaya-scented shower gel smell any stronger? Did the water on my skin feel any hotter? It was only then that I realized that talking wasn’t even one of our five senses, although I know many people who would argue otherwise. I must have been a lot more tired than I thought.

7.25 p.m.
I was making copies of some legal documents when a name on the page caught my eye. Wanting to know why the man I call ‘Uncle Mike’ had Maria listed as his first name, I had to resort to gesticulating wildly to get my mother’s attention from across the room, and then try to explain what I wanted to know. This whole self-imposed silence was beginning to annoy me. I had questions and comments that I didn’t want to have to write down to get across. Her one line explanation didn’t really explain anything, and ‘Uncle Maria’ didn’t sound nearly as amusing in my head as it might have out loud.

7.32 p.m.
Into the room sauntered my brother, who reacted to my mother’s explanation of my strange behavior with puzzled glances that soon turned into sarcastic sniggers perfected by many an adolescent. I then had to fend off his attempts to do everything he possibly could to make me give up. I persevered, but my patience was wearing thin.

7.48 p.m.
I was in my room, contemplating throwing in the proverbial towel. Although I had no plans on being extremely verbose for the next couple of hours, I liked that it was an option. The gestures and the miming were fun for a little while, but I could see my frustration levels increasing steadily as the night wore on. It was taking more energy to not say something than to actually say it. This was the last thing I wanted at the end of a strenuous day. My mind made up, I left my room and announced loudly – I. Give. Up. It was 8 p.m.

happy birthday to me (again)

2008-05-18T16:58:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, we took my dad to the fish spa in Bangsar for a little (belated) birthday pampering. He had his feet immersed in a pool and let little fishes nibble at him for half an hour. Apparently, it feels like electricity. The place is pretty, once you get past the squeamishness of the whole thing. After lunch in Selangor Club, my mum, brother and I went on a hunt for chocolate cake supplies. My cousin had decided to have a spur-of-the-moment family dinner that night (thereby resulting in the postponement of the Sushi & Sorbet Extravaganza I had planned), and my brother decided to make his famous chocolate cake – which is actually my famous chocolate cake. Jamie Oliver’s recipe.

Mmmm.

Anyway, he made the cake and I smothered it in chocolate. I was looking for those little silver round things like I used for a white chocolate mud cake one Christmas but the shops didn't have them, so we ended up with M&M’s, cuz we were told that the cake was actually a surprise for my aunty. No, she’s not two…but that’s the fun part. We thought about spelling out her name gave up after the first letter. So I just randomly plonked them all over the cake, and it ended up reminding me of inkblots (I don’t think I’ll ever remember how to spell the dude’s name…Rorschach?). My dad and my brother see a chicken. I see a chicken but the other way around from them. Someone else saw a map of Australia.

What do YOU see?

And the cake ended up being for both my aunty and me. Meaning that I iced my own cake, haha. I also got yummy Body Shop stuff from my cousin. I've never really been a fan of their fruit range, but oh my god. The tropicalness of the papaya body gel made me walk out of the bathroom with the hugest smile and an intense craving for the beach.

happy birthday to me

2008-05-14T21:55:00.004+08:00

Turning a year older is always buckets of fun, isn't it :)

Last year, I was whisked away on a surprise (I only found out at the airport) holiday to a 5-star resort and was given an orang utan for a year. Rode a horse on the beach. Jumped up and down (and up and down again) on a trampoline. A little hard to top that, but I manage.

Because the ADP electives timetable wasn't out, I kinda had to attend a class from 8 to 10 in the morning. The night before, I was up late watching football with my brother, and then when I went to bed, two friends called so I ended up sleeping late - which I made up for when I came home. That afternoon, I went to this spa that my mum's been to a few times. She gave me a gift voucher for a full body massage, which is something I've never had and she figured I needed (My dad bought me a t-shirt I'd seen the last time we were in Switzerland but didn't get and unfortunately, too big for me cuz my aunty told him it would shrink in the wash - it didn't - and a Venetian glass pendant from Venice). I'm prone to tension in my shoulders, so I was seriously looking forward to the experience.

It began with a floral foot bath. You sit with your feet immersed in a wooden tub of flowers in warm water. The masseuse then scrubs your feet (which felt a little strange and ticklish) and dries them off before leading you to your massage room. After getting undressed, you hop onto the mattress thing, face down. Below you is a bowl of flowers, and the lilting sounds of traditional music fill the air. Her fingers start working, and the scent of lemongrass oil fills the air. (Almost) Every square inch of me, from my toes to the top of my head. Then, she had me turn around and she worked her way up. All. Over. Again.

Bliss.

It ended with me attempting to sip some ginger tea. Bliss? Not so much :)

Later that evening, the family (or two of them, anyway) came over for what I call "feedy-feedy" after a family friend used this term to describe cutting the birthday cake and feeding a little of it to family members. We had chocolate cake =D

Dinner was with friends from uni and school in Antonio's (otherwise known as the family restaurant), which my friends have never been too. The starter was a mozarella thing, then we had pizza, fettucine carbonara, spaghetti bolognese, cannelloni and for dessert, apple pie and crème brûlée. After all that, we wandered over to TTDI Plaza and walked around (as usual) trying to decide where to go. We walked through two places - one was ridiculously loud (and not in a good way) and both were full of people waaaay older than us. We ended up back in Waikiki Too, where much of the music was waaaay older than us. The same live band was performing, and my friends got them to play Wonderwall and Happy Birthday.

At the end of the day, it didn't matter what I did. It was who I had around me (and of course, those who were there even though they weren't) that was most important. You know I love you guys. Xoxo.

a chocolate palooza

2008-05-11T23:45:00.000+08:00

When we were in Langkawi not too long ago, we bought quite a bit of (duty-free) chocolate. Yesterday, my dad came back from Switzerland where he had gone to celebrate his brother's birthday with enough chocolate to feed a small army. There's oodles of chocolate in our fridge. It's nothing compared to the 50+ bars we brought back the last time we were there (which sounds insanely excessive, I know, but they were for friends and family!), but we're definitely spoilt for choice. I'm not a chocoholic, but there's something about Swiss chocolate - a fineness you don't really get otherwise. And sometimes, it really does make you happy :)

bola sepak

2008-05-11T23:39:00.003+08:00

My brother talks about football a lot. He tries to explain the differences between the Barclays Premier League, and the...other thing. Lol. I pay attention - some times. He talks about the games, the players, and who's doing what. It all started when I started playing FIFA during a semester break. Anyway, there's a big game going on now, Manchester United (I typed that as 'Untied' <--- hahaha) vs. Wigan.

I'm not a fan of Manchester United. Mostly because my brother is, but also cuz a certain player (let's call him C) is a complete drama queen and he annoys me. And also cuz rooting for the other team is so much fun than rooting for the same one.

Okay. Giggs just scored and my brother ran a victory lap around the living room.

oh. my. god.

2008-05-08T12:13:00.003+08:00

I did it. I finally did it. I have an appointment with Lina from Borneo Ink. If you didn't already know, getting a tattoo is something I've been talking about for the last...I don't know, ten years maybe? In that period of time, I've changed my mind so many times that it made me realize that getting something permanently etched onto my skin was not the best idea at the moment. But I did it today. I walked into the shop and made an appointment. How's that for indecisiveness.

domestic undomesticness.

2008-05-07T19:52:00.002+08:00

I made chocolate chip cookies today. The last time I made these was a little over a year ago, which is a really long time considering how good chocolate chip cookies are. The reason for that being, despite how satisfying the process is, it's so much easier to pay a little visit to your neighborhood Famous Amos. Or if you're lucky like me, sometimes dropping the odd hint works pretty well (I recently complained about a gummy bear craving and my mum, who happened to be grocery shopping the next day, came home with a bag full of them).

I'm not domestic. I just like making things. Later, I'm going to lock myself in my room and put together a collage my brother and I are making for Mother's Day. Cookies or collages, I'm so there.

tag - you're it.

2008-05-05T01:42:00.002+08:00

List out 5 things you wish for:
Right now?
1. another beach holiday
2. perfectly painted nails
3. a phone call
4. more than a phone call
5. gummy bears

The person who tagged you:
H. I’ve decided to use initials for people I refer to. I hope I don’t mix them up...

Your first 5 impressions of her/him:
Okay, wow. That was a really, really long time ago.
1. Little =p
2. Friendly
3. Smart!!

The most memorable thing s/he has done/given to you:
Being there for me when I needed her.

If s/he becomes your lover, you two will:
Not surprise a lot of people, considering how much time we spend together.

If s/he becomes your enemy, the reason will be because:
Won’t happen. You never forget the person who bought you your first egg tart.

5 people you tag:
Seeing as how I have absolutely no idea who knows about this – no one. Or you.

5 people I want to erm kacau?
Kacau? Seriously? Ooookayyy...
1. H - cuz she made me do this.
2. J – cuz we just met up for Starbucks and the exchange of duty-free smokes for an external hard drive full of things to watch, yaay!
3. D
4. L – cuz I associate “kacau” with her.
5. K

Who is 3 having a relationship with?
Haha. With school.

Who is 5 having a relationship with?
His bed. Or the gym.

If 2 & 3 got together, would it be a good thing?
LOL. Won’t happen. But then again, they’re both kinda geeks...J just said – “I playED wow n I’m good at computers...I’m a certified geek =D”

What about 4 & 5?
They've met...I think twice. Both are kinda sporty, so maybe?

What is 3 studying?
Something clever. Disclosing it would make it kinda obvious.

When was the last time you chatted with 5?
We’re chatting right now.

Does 4 work?
Nope.

Would you be with 1?
I’m with her a LOT of the time *blows kisses* hahahhah.

How about 5?
He’s a friend. No.

Does 2 have any siblings?
Yup. An older sister.

How did you get to know 2 & 4?
2 = We were in the same secondary school and in the same class for two years. Now, we’re bad influences on each other :)
4 = Same course then same project groups. Now, the person I ‘kacau’ during lectures.

Where does 1 live?
In Kuantan/down the road.

Is 3 the sexiest person in the world?
Is anyone the sexiest person in the world? But – okay, I won’t go there ;)

off the beaten track

2008-05-04T17:37:00.005+08:00

We just spent three days in Langkawi. My dad's in Switzerland (and France and Italy, grrrr...) for his brother's birthday and he's been to Langkawi more recently than we have, so we decided to go. Our last trip there was 12 years ago, and almost nothing looked familiar.

From the airport, we took a cab to our hotel on Pantai Tengah, which supposedly has the best beach on the island (more later...), and a little further from the touristy area of Pantai Cenang. The hotel itself is pretty - grounds were gorgeous but it lacked the famed "Malaysian hospitality", especially when we compared the people with those we met in Thailand and Bali. A little unfair, maybe...but anyway, the view from our balcony helped make up for it.

We left to go check out the cable car thing. Standing at the base of the island's second tallest mountain and looking up at where I would be in less than five minutes kinda freaked me out a little. What was freakier was the ride from the middle to the last station, which although doesn't go much higher, goes across from one peak to the next. That's also where this crazy suspension bridge is and if you stand completely still, you can feel it swaying slightly. Once you get over the initial WTF AM I DOING?! phase, the view is quite spectacular. On a clear day, you are supposed to be able to see Thailand (more later...).

Getting around the island is fairly simple. They have an extremely organized taxi fare system so you know you won't get cheated (unless your taxi driver tells you he'll wait for you and later charges you an additional 10 ringgit...), but the fares add up to quite a bit unless you're staying in your hotel and not moving at all for the duration of your holiday. A better idea is to hire a car - you pay 50 ringgit for a day and drive yourself around. There are signs everywhere so you can't get lost even if you tried, and the roads are really good. Watch out if you're driving at night - some places don't have streetlights and out of nowhere, a herd of black buffalos decided to cross the road. We found a gorgeous Malay/Thai place for dinner in Kuah.

For the next day, we had hired a guide to take us on a mangrove tour. What most tourists do is hire anyone who will do the usual, including a visit to the Bat Caves and feeding eagles. We found someone who doesn't believe in feeding the eagles and agreed to let us tailor our itinerary to what we wanted to see. If you're ever in Langkawi, don't go with anyone who feeds the eagles. This is unnatural and the poor things are conditioned to associate boats with an easy meal. Our guide was the man - he knew the scientific names of everything he showed us - the different species of mangrove trees, random plants, wildlife...

We took a route that bypassed the tourist traps, seeing otters, two types of monkeys, a HUGE monitor lizard, mudskippers and eagles. We went into Crocodile Cave (in our boat) - other tour operators just show you the cave and tell you that the boat won't be able to fit in. We also went to this Langsuyir place (can't remember if it's called a lake) and to Pulau Anak Tikus to check out some fossils. I loved being on the boat. After a while, I hopped onto the front and didn't move for the rest of the trip. Going out to the open sea, our guide pointed out Thailand in the distance. Phones started beeping - "Welcome to Thailand! Call home to Malaysia..." - hilarious. We had an excellent lunch in Barn Thai, literally in the middle of the jungle. I'm sure there's a road, but we got there and left by boat. Later that day, we headed back into town to visit the Eagle Square which I wanted to skip in favor of the beach, but my mum and brother insisted. That was followed by more duty free shopping which was kinda depressing cuz Cadbury chocolates here are twice the price of what they are there, and let's not even talk about the alcohol.

Back to the hotel for sunset on the beach. The waves were massive, bigger than the ones in Bali where we went body-boarding. The sand shifted to quickly that one minute it was shallow, the next, deep. Right before the next wave, when there's this whooosh and all the water and sand gets sucked away, standing at the edge of the ocean, the waves were taller than me. Dinner was in this amazing little place across the street. The ceiling is made up of boards that have messages written in chalk on them, from all the people who have visited over the years. While waiting for your dinner, you get entertained by magic tricks and sated with plates of peanuts. Dessert was complimentary watermelon slices.

The next morning we spent chilling by the beach and in the pool. There were these strange sluggy things with thorns all over the beach and in the water, and they didn't look too friendly so we stayed away. Our flight back was later that afternoon and we went for an excellent lunch a few minutes walk away.

Everywhere you go in Langkawi, you're surrounded by mountains. I'm guessing that explains the lack of a breeze - it was intensely hot. Not that it's much better in KL - bloody global warming. But the island takes laid-back to a whole new level. The roads we travelled on had just two lanes and no traffic whatsoever. Opening my eyes on the way back home from the airport, civilization kinda freaked me out. All the buildings and the cars and the lights. There, it was totally unnecessary to even know what day of the week it was. I miss it already.

Pictures are on Facebook and more will be on Shutterfly. If you're important enough, you'll get a link.

neuronal conversations

2008-04-29T21:00:00.004+08:00

Our brains, the cool things that they are, are made up of so many neurons, it isn't even funny. What's cooler is that we, at a certain point in time, have way more neurons than we need. Our brains, the cool things that they are, get rid of these extra neurons (the existence of which has a completely valid reason I shan't go into cuz I can't remember all the details and my Biopsychology textbooks are a. too far away and b. under a bunch of other textbooks and I'm still recovering...more on this later...) - a process called apoptosis, which is kinda like neuronal (in this case) suicide.

The reason I brought this up - 37.5 hours of data entry which I've been doing at my internship place. I am completely aware of the fact that it has to be done, and that what I'm doing is important, so that all these lovely people can be contacted for future projects and stuff. But oh. My. God. I swear, I can almost hear this conversation in my head (completely fictional cuz I'm pretty sure apoptosis doesn't work like this...):

Neuron 1: Oh. My. God. Kill me now. I haven't been used in the longest time. I've almost forgotten what an action potential feels like! *wistfully gazes at Neuron 2*

Neuron 2: Neuron 1, is that...you? Haven't heard from you in forever! Helloooo!!

Neuron 1: Hmmm...looks like Neuron 1 is trying to say something, but what??

Neuron 2: I don't know how much more of this data entry I can take. I am trained to make sense of complicated journals and pages of numbers and things with names that are so long, learning how to spell them takes forever. HOMOSCEDASTICITY!! The subtests of WAIS-III and WISC-IV!

...Okay, I got bored. Basically, the neurons figured they'd try greener pastures and proceed to off themselves in desperation. It's harsh, I know - but seriously, anyone can do data entry. I need more stimulation.

There's a deck chair with my name on it. Bliss.

purple

2008-04-24T23:23:00.004+08:00

My nails are purple. I kinda hate painting my fingernails cuz they always end up looking messy, then there's the inevitable smudging and chipping. But today, I felt like it so I painted. But now, I have to stop looking at them or I'm going to end up taking it all off.

I went back to my internship on Wednesday. All I've been doing so far is data entry for a project they recently had.

Okay I really have to stop staring at my nails. I can work this. I just can't let anyone look at them up close. Okay.

frozen

2008-04-22T11:56:00.003+08:00

this video is pretty self-explanatory, but just in case - on sunday, the 13th of april, 1000 people froze in the middle of a shopping mall. crazy? kinda. what's crazier is that this was the work of one person, who through Facebook, made this event one for the record books (or mine, anyway...).

it was quite the experience. i don't think Lot 10 (where we were told to gather and wait for little orange flyers) has ever been that crowded. people were just standing around, waiting, and you could tell why they were there. we were all strangers, but connected in the anticipation of something quite extraordinary.

if you look carefully, you can spot me, my brother and my friend at about 2.43 on the right hand side. i was sitting down on the stairs, eating a cheese-cup-cake thing. my friend was tying his shoelaces while my brother was "stealing" his wallet. i thought that was a pretty cool idea (someone stole our snatch theft idea) until i watched this video and saw that two other people did the exact same thing. my freeze pose was a total coincidence.

in the moment, i think many people lost sight of the real reason this event was organized. which is actually okay, cuz even if you went just for fun, you were a part of the tapestry (explanation another day...).

"Where human beings get together to do something in unison, without speeches or reference to their age, color, sex, beliefs and background."

that line was why i attended this thing, and it was nice to see people get off their apathetic asses and actually do something to make a difference, as cliché as that may sound. so here's the video, from Random Alphabets. enjoy :)

time out

2008-04-18T00:21:00.004+08:00

Two exams down, two to go. I have to say, I didn't expect to find myself back here, but today was one for the record books. Dropping my friend home, we randomly decided to go watch a movie. Twenty minutes later, I picked her up and we went to get tickets Definitely, Maybe with Ryan Reynolds and Rachel Weisz and Isla Fisher. Cuz she was hungry, we decide to go get some sushi. By "we", I should clarify that I mean my friend :) There's still a lot of sushi that I don't eat, e.g. anything with seaweed or tentacles. Today I tried something new - a tempura cheese thing which was quite okay. We then head over to McDonalds so we can get (decent) food for the movie which was seriously enjoyable. I've been a fan of Ryan Reynolds from waaay back when Two Guys & A Girl was called Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place. After the movie, we went for dessert to Baskin-Robbins. Much to my surprise, they had one of my all-time favorite flavors - Love Potion #31 (or something). I ended up being more than a little disappointed with it. I don't remember what it tasted like before, but this wasn't it. Another friend of mine joined us, and the second they were introduced, they started talking about me. It was the strangest thing. I've known the first friend for about three years and have spent a considerable amount of time with her. The second I know from school. They both had the same things to say about me, and they found this extremely amusing. I found it strange cuz I don't get how they came to the same conclusions. At all.

Anyway.

It was a good evening. Food. Laughs. Ice cream. A good break from the hecticness of the past week. Tomorrow's exam is a strange one, then there's one more on Monday.

a world without pain?

2008-04-15T01:08:00.005+08:00

Lately I've been thinking about how I missed this and decided that I'd do something about it after my finals. But I was studying and having a pretty random conversation with a friend, and next thing you know, here I am.

What I was reading about was Whorf's linguistic relativity hypothesis. Basically, this brilliant dude made the observation that linguistic differences contribute to different perceptions of reality. In English (or at least what I hope is English, I'm kinda tired...), how you see your world depends on the language you speak. Eskimos are kinda sorta inextricably linked to their environment, which is why they have heaps and heaps and heaps of words for "snow". I can't remember in which language exactly, but a culture dependent on paddy farming had heaps of words in their language to describe the different stages of growth.

All of that made me wonder what it would be like to live in a culture and speak a language that had four hundred words to describe "happiness". Would people go around with smiles on their faces all day? What about one that had four hundred words to describe the total opposite - "sadness"? What about one that didn't have any words for "pain"?

So many things have happened since the last time I was here. Things I wish I could erase to alleviate the pain in some way. Things that were probably the cause of my absence - I didn't know how to put what I felt into words.

Wait. No. I didn't want to have to know. I still have a hard time trying to pick up the pieces, and what's worse is when I think I'm getting somewhere, I break and end up having to start all over again.

Okay, so this is turning into an extremely depressing post. It's not like the last 3.5 months have been complete crap. I've had some good times. I've travelled. Danced. Hugged. Laughed. Shopped. Frozen :) But I've also had the most intensely difficult experiences I've ever had to face.

I'm dealing.

Slowly.

P.S. To the friend who put up with an intensely random conversation - *clinks cups of green tea* xoxo.

pseudo-reflections

2007-12-31T01:38:00.000+08:00

It's the eve of new year's eve, and this apparently my 100th post. Woo!

Right now, I'm sort-of-not-really watching a football game with my brother (Manchester City vs. Liverpool), which is weird cuz a few weeks ago, there was no way in hell this would be happening. The cause of the change? PS2 FIFA. Football suddenly became tolerable.

It seems like it's the time for reflections, and resolutions...but seriously, who are we kidding? Does anyone actually stick to resolutions they make? You have all these things you want to do, but how many actually get done? And reflections? Pfft.

I spent last new year's eve with a friend, who insisted on us making resolutions even though I told him I'm not really into that sort of thing. So I sorta did, just for fun. It wasn't a strict resolution with rules (e.g. I must lose 5 pounds in 3 months or something...), I just wanted to make sure that I had a good, fun year, even with all the people leaving and stuff. I think I've done pretty okay. There were shaky moments, but I'm here. The thought of facing a whole new year is exhausting, but I've come to a decision to take things one at a time. Anything else would be madness.

So here's wishing for health, happiness and peace - have a good one.

the beach

2007-12-29T23:50:00.000+08:00

We went to meet a bunch of aunties, uncles and cousins at the beach today, with 'the beach' being P.D., but a beach all the same. It was actually, pretty decent. The water looked okay (although no one went it - refer to the prawn incident), it was hot and windy, and I went swimming twice, which was gorgeous! The last time I was in a pool was in Bali - July this year. Considering how much I love being in the water, that's just wrong in at least seventeen different ways.

The past few days, my cousin from Switzerland has been staying with us cuz her parents went to P.D. a few days earlier than everyone else and her brother and his girlfriend have gone to Penang and Langkawi. We went to Sungai Wang (in sum = strange clothes, hair saloons, tattoo parlours) one afternoon. We went out for dinner, watched movies

...and now I've got stuff to deal with.

shopping and yodeling beavers

2007-12-26T11:47:00.000+08:00

So it's been a while...I think I have a habit of saying that. The last time I did this was ages ago, before Diwali, which is when Charlie got really sick and I got really exhausted and this felt like the last thing in the world I wanted to do.

The semester's over, and all I've been doing is playing PS2 FIFA (go figure...) and shopping for and wrapping Christmas presents (with hand-made gift tags in the shape of Christmas trees) I was in One Utama five days in a row. I first went with my brother to get presents for our mum, dad and cousins, then the next day we went with my mum to get presents from all of us...then the day after that I went back with my mum to pick up some more stuff (this was after spending the afternoon in Midvalley with Hannah), then the next day my dad came back from India and we had to go with him to pick up my mum's present, and the next day I took my cousins who are here from Switzerland. So yeah, no One Utama for me for a while...

My phone isn't working. I have to take it to the shop later to see if it can be sorted out =/ It went weird while we were at church on Christmas Eve. Before that, we had dinner at home (mushroom quiche and pasta salad) and afterwards we took my cousin, who was with us, to A & W cuz she wanted a root beer float.

The next morning, we did the usual presents and breakfast with my aunty and her family, minus my uncle who was in Ipoh. Breakfast was sausages, scrambled eggs, toast and bacon. The pile of presents was pretty cool :)

I got earphones, Famous Amos cookies and gummies from my brother; The Namesake (the movie), more gummies, a new dreamcatcher and an Aeroline ticket to Penang from my mum and dad; a Fridays/Italiannies gift voucher from my aunty and uncle (mmmm); White Musk Body Shop shower gel and body lotion from my cousins; a yodeling beaver (at least, I think it's a beaver...) from Switzerland, and a bunch of moolah. Ooh and from Hannah, I got a starter pack from this new prepaid service called Happy, which is sort of an inside joke, but you can make calls for as long as 45 minutes and pay only 99 sen :)

Christmas lunch was in my aunty's house where we had breaded mushrooms, salad, paella (which was made by my uncle in a special pan he brought from Switzerland), prawns, wild boar (as requested for by my cousin) and roast chicken. Dessert was a gorgeous chocolate cake, apple crumble, ice cream and Swiss cookies.

For dinner, we stopped by the house of a family friend to deliver a turkey from the restaurant, and later on we went to an open house of a relative.

I don't think we're doing anything major for the next couple of days, except being bored. I'm bored even doing this. Blah.

hope

2007-11-04T15:22:00.000+08:00

I left home today morning at 8, picked Hannah up and headed to Lake Gardens for the Terry Fox Run. Like last year, there were heaps and heaps of people. Also like last year, no one took the warm-up seriously. But to be fair, it was more like a cross between a joget and belly-dancing than a real warm-up. At 9, we were flagged off. The route was a little different than last year - starting at the assembly area by the lake, winding uphill past the deer park, coming out near the bird park, turning left past the orchid garden and back towards the entrance of Lake Gardens, past Lake Club, towards the playground on the right, around the lake and back to the assembly area. Like last year, bananas and bottles of water were being handed out before the run. Afterwards, there was Milo (for which the queue was insanely long) and some really, really amazing muffins. It was a little cloudy throughout, which probably made it easier. And it was, to be honest, more of a brisk walk than a run for us. The people who actually attempted to run had a tough time, dodging and weaving in and out of the masses of people. But seriously, good for them. It's an amazing thing, and it can't be for a better cause. Unfortunately, we've come to a stage where it seems everyone knows someone who has or has had cancer. The sheer number of people at this event serves as a testament of sorts to that.

So, here's to hope. Someone find a cure already.

an exhibition of the wrong kind

2007-11-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

Hannah and me went to Midvalley today to pick up our t-shirts for Sunday's Terry Fox run. Strangely enough, the booth was set up in the middle of a financial exhibition. We had no plans on staying, but to get in you have to register and such. You give them your identity cards and they scan them and print out your information (SO cool) and even fill up a form for you. This was for a true/false info hunt, which we decided to do cuz we were there and such. So in we walked, and there were booths by a bunch of banks. We were initially just looking for the answers, but then people started talking to us like they thought we were really there for the exhibition. This felt a little depressing later on. Do I seriously look like I need a personal loan?? Unless it's for that purple Sony phone...mmm...anyway, they kept giving us things - pens, bags, notebooks. We eventually finished up the info hunt and cuz we got all the answers right (go figure), we got more free stuff - an MPH voucher worth RM20, a t-shirt and a calculator/notebook thing. Eventually, we got to the Terry Fox booth and found out that they didn't have the sizes we wanted yet. So we went to have a teppanyaki lunch and did a bunch of other things. When I got home, I spent like four hours making cookies. I can't even look at them now.

But I mean, seriously. I feel a million years old. I'm telling myself that they probably didn't expect people who weren't there for a reason to be there, but still. Grrr.

a weekend of shopping

2007-10-21T17:02:00.000+08:00

The weekend is going by a little too quickly for my liking.

Yesterday, I was at this semester's Freshmen Lunch. As part of the student council, I kinda had to be there anyway, but the department also wanted to acknowledge our award, so they had a little prize presentation. I'd like to say that I don't really care what they gave us cuz it's the recognition for our hard work that matters, but seeing as how we managed to predict exactly what we would be getting (a Parker pen from HELP)...here's hoping for a leeetle more creativity next time. Apparently, we're getting book vouchers worth RM150 with the actual award (the thing is next week).

I just looked at my table and it's still there, sort of in the wrapper. It's got such a long name - The University of Queensland Award of Excellence for Second Year Bachelor of Psychology Program.

The other day I was in Midvalley and I fell in love with this top in Dorothy Perkins. It's ridiculously overpriced, but I tried it on and I was gone. I told my mother about it and she just laughed at the price. But later on, she said I could have it if I wanted, as a reward for the award. So yesterday, I showed it to her and had a proper look at it again. And we ended up getting it :)

I just got back from the house of a family friend where a little exhibition of sorts was being held. They get things from India (clothes, jewelry) and invite everyone around. I found this gorgeous white top with gold print and little lines of sequins around the neckline. I love.

The title of this post makes it seem like I did nothing but shop, but that isn't at all true. I so wish it was!!

neither awake nor asleep

2007-10-11T12:43:00.000+08:00

I'm lying in bed listening to gorgeous new music (Sober by Kelly Clarkson, Apologize by One Republic & Timbaland). I had to wake up really early today, and it's all cool and cloudy now. Perfect stay-in-bed weather.

My last midterm was on Tuesday. I did absolutely nothing yesterday, and it felt a bit strange. Apparently, lots of people are skipping our 2 o'clock class. I don't want to go either, but I don't want to skip another class.

My mum, brother and I had dinner at Friday's the other day before watching The Brave One, and I made a new discovery - these little macaroni and cheese things. They're coated and fried, and they're completely amazing. It's on their 3-course meal menu. I wish it was on their normal menu. Three courses is a lot of food. For dessert, we had this cookie (except it was more like a cross between a cookie and cake, with chocolate chips) and ice cream. That was pretty good, too. Def. better than their brownie thing, and a nice change from Chili's chocolate cake ice cream heaven thing.

"I need you like a heart needs a beat, but that's nothing new..."

reinventing the wheel

2007-09-19T18:23:00.000+08:00

Today, I had my first meeting with the supervisor of my undergrad thesis. For the past...okay, ever since I was on holiday, I've been reviewing journals about my area of research (eyewitness memory), and I thought I had a pretty good idea of where I was and what I wanted to do.

Leaving his office, however, I felt like I had been asked to come up with a way to reinvent the wheel. Strangely enough, that is exactly what he said he wasn't asking me to do. He had a very valid point - research keeps going on, meaning there are always ways in which current research can be improved upon, or gaps can be filled.

But hello, these researches have been carried out by extremely learned professors. We have been trained to critique these journals, but reinventing them?

Delusions of grandeur!

Being third year students and all, I know there are certain expectations of us, like not relying completely on replications of what has already been done. But we're pretty much on our own. How many journals have you come across that were authored by one single person? I'd say it's a very small minority. And these people have been through years and years and YEARS of study and research. Pretending we're all at that level...how is this going to work??

I guess it's back to the drawing board.

a band-aid on a bullet wound?

2007-09-12T18:37:00.000+08:00

Unless you've been living under a rock or in a cave, you've definitely heard of An Inconvenient Truth. It presents the harsh reality that is climate change and global warming, and where the planet is headed if we continue living the way we do. Al Gore is one impressive man, and I have to say, it really sucks that he didn't win. As Hannah put it, instead of fighting terrorism, the fight would've been against global warming.

There was a screening of this movie in HELP today, which me and Hannah went for. I think the part that stuck with me the most was that polar bears are drowning.

Yes, you read that right. They drown from sheer exhaustion, cuz they swim and swim and swim and there's no ice for them to get out of the water on. And the visuals were quite influential as well. When ice melts, so much of the world will be under water that in just China and India (if I remember correctly), 100 million people will become refugees. Remember the devastation that occurred after Hurricane Katrina? That happened in a supposedly developed nation, and that was only tens of thousands of people.

This is the real apocalypse, people.

There was this one scene of a picture of the earth taken from squillions of miles away, and it was nothing, nothing but a tiny blue speck. It reminded me of something I once wrote:

How little sense does it actually make? Think about it. Everything we know. Everything we are. All of it happens on this spherical mass of land and sea and ice, and this mass revolves around this bigger mass of pure heat. And you know how in books they draw orbits? Completely imaginary. And all of that happens in complete nothingness, except for other bits and other masses. Honestly, the idea of space seems like something from a really bad sci-fi movie. How ironic is that, that all of existence seems so farcical?

As a friend of mine would say, I'm having one of my moments. To think, that ALL of existence is on that little blue speck that is slowly and surely being destroyed by the very people who are utterly dependant on it.

This picture is from here.

Actually, not slowly. It really, really makes me wish that people in this country were more willing to do something to change their habits. I think we're getting there - I have seen separate bins so rubbish can by recycled in shopping malls. But more needs to be done to make it easier to do good. Do we even HAVE those Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs here? What about recycling household waste? I'd like to see it being made compulsory to separate our trash, like it is in Switzerland.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. To start with, carpool. It's not immensely difficult. And turn off your electronic devices when you're not using them. Even leaving your phone charger plugged in when you're not using it is BAD.

It's not like we have a real alternative. What happens when all of this catches up with us? It'll be too late to say, ooops! Maybe we should've done something to fix this before it became an attempt to put a band-aid on a bullet wound.

jewelry

2007-09-10T21:14:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine from school recently spent a few weeks in Africa building houses and other equally noble-sounding things (except the bit where he observed and photographed bizarre anatomical details of animals on a safari). When the bunch of us met up, he had a little bag full of souvenirs, and I picked out a beaded leather bracelet. Very ethnic and very pretty.

Today was Free Hugs Day at college, organized by the Student Council. There are pictures so I'm thinking this should be another post when I have them, but anyway, I got a friend of mine who used to go to HELP to swing by. He had stuff for me (Gourmet Pringles) which he brought back from England ages ago and has been meaning to give me, but always forgets. But then, he also surprised me with a Venetian glass pendant which is absolutely stunning. It's sorta got this stained glass thing going on. I love.

pain

2007-09-09T23:25:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning in pain. Something happened while I was sleeping, which resulted in this sharp discomfort that has become progressively worse throughout the day despite a very warm bubble bath with Epsom salts and liberal blitzes of magic voodoo spray. I haven't succumbed to a muscle relaxant cuz that just knocks me out and I needed to be lucid to get through the five articles we have to read for tomorrow's Substance Abuse tutorial.

A wise friend of mine once insisted that no matter what the distance is, whether it's 5 or 5084792809742908320 kms, when you're away from someone you want to be with, it's all the same. You would think it would be easier, being closer...but distance is just that. Distance. No matter how you dice it.

three a.m. conversations

2007-09-06T03:07:00.000+08:00

:: Lady Patreez :: says:
ok wait the liver gets affected by alcohol yes?

nameeta says:
yup

:: Lady Patreez :: says:
k cool

:: Lady Patreez :: says:
i always think kidneys sometimes

nameeta says:
lol

nameeta says:
maybe they are?

nameeta says:
but livers are pretty important

nameeta says:
i cant believe i just said that

nameeta says:
how random

getting thrown into the deep end

2007-08-27T22:05:00.000+08:00

I had my first class in more than seven weeks today. It was Substance Abuse with a lecturer whom we've seen around and heard about, but never actually had. She was quite amusing. She said if she ever gets an MC, she will call the doctor up to verify your symptoms and such. And if you have to miss a quiz or a deadline or whatever, you have to tell her to her face so she can tell if you're lying or not. Very CIA-esque, she is. It should be interesting.

She also told us that we'd be getting our textbooks today cuz there's a quiz in our next lesson. HELLO!! We just started! So much for having time to catch my breath.

I watched The Family Stone again just now. Towards the end, Diane Keaton's character is looking out the window with a smile on her face, and when her son's boyfriend comes up to her and taps her on her shoulder, she turns to him and goes, "It's snowing!". The look on her face...pure, unadulterated joy. It took me back to when we were last in Switzerland, in the middle of nowhere, and we got out of the car and it started to snow ever so lightly. At first, you don't even notice. And when you do...it's priceless.

After that, we watched Friday's episode of Friday Night Lights. There was one scene in which Tim wraps his arms around Lyla and holds her so close. The feeling?

Missing something so much that it hurts.

Makes it a little hard to breathe.

And then you move on. Or try to, anyway.

Number of things I think I should be having more of - 1 Green Tea

health kicks

2007-08-26T16:52:00.000+08:00

I was making lime juice for after dinner (I rarely drink just water after meals) and I remembered my mother telling me our organic sugar is from Paraguay, as is the sugar they use in Ben & Jerry's Vanilla ice cream, the advertisement of which caught my eye in a magazine she had borrowed. For the record, I used a lot less sugar than I usually do, in light of my so-called attempt to be a leeetle more conscientious.

Which made me realize that our salt is healthy, too - Himalayan Rock Salt. It's kinda reddish and it was difficult to get used to cuz it's a lot less saltier than whatever it was we were using before, but I suppose that's a small price to pay.

So right now, I think I'm doing pretty okay. I don't quite see me jumping on the muesli (horse food!! yuk!!) bandwagon anytime soon, tho.

Number of things I think I should be having more of - 1 Green Tea :)

shopping with a blister

2007-08-25T22:57:00.001+08:00

Late today morning my mum, brother and me went to One Utama. Before we started shopping, we decided to check out this carnival thing they had going on in Central Park. It was quite cool. They had lots of food stalls; free popcorn, cotton candy, caricatures, face-painting, airbrush tattoos (none of which we had. I wanted cotton candy but I had just had half a brownie before leaving)...and we even found a Sony Ericsson phone just lying on the sidewalk. We handed it over to the dj cuz it's no fun to mess with the universe.

Heading back into One Utama, we stopped by the so-called Digital Gadget-y Fair Thing cuz I want to get an external hard drive, but all they had were keyboards for RM700. Then we went to Swatch cuz I was annoyed with the website and I wanted to check out the Fall/Winter 2007 collection. I was wearing my new sandals and by this time, I had a nasty blister on my right little toe. We went to Studio R cuz both my brother and I needed new sneakers after ours got stolen, and surprise surprise, I actually found a pair! They're white with light purple accents and Reeboks like my old ones. Love.

We didn't feel like having a proper lunch, so my brother and I had pretzels before we heading to the other sports shop cuz he hadn't found shoes yet. Then we walked around some more (slowly cuz of the blister, which I ended up getting plasters for) and eventually, we went to WH to get pj's. Aaaages ago, I fell in love with these black pj's that had little hearts outlined in red and white, saying things like "Kisses"...you know like the candy hearts? And another pair, also in black with red and white words like "Affection". But they didn't have my size, and seeing as how these are actually for men, nothing but a Small would do. They don't have characteristically-male features or anything, and decent pj's that aren't complete frou frou or see-through (which kinda defeats the purpose of wearing them) are ridiculously difficult to find, so I got a pair with checks on them.

After being home for a bit, I followed my mum and my brother to Brickfields where he had a tabla rehearsal and where we had to buy rakhis for Tuesday cuz I wanted to go for threading in Bangsar. After picking him up we went for tea, and finally we were back home again.

I'm tired, and the last thing I want to be doing right now is exactly what I'm doing - reviewing another journal.

Number of things I don't think I should be having: 1 Coke.

almost

2007-08-24T21:36:00.000+08:00

My two-month sorta-but-not-really holiday is thisclose to being over. At the very beginning, when I was lying on the couch and thinking about all the things I was NOT going to do, my brother asked me if I was going to play PS2 (I'm deliberately ignoring how grammatically incorrect that sounds) at all, and I said hell yes. He bet I wouldn't.

I still have tomorrow and Sunday to prove him wrong.

I got my results today - an A- for Cross-Cultural Psychology and a B+ for Ethics. I'm actually more annoyed with the A- cuz i kicked some serious midterm ass. But then I remembered all the quizzes I flunked (I didn't have time to flip thru the chapters the night before class, so I had to resort to making things up...terrible, I know. Shut up.) after that. There was at least one quiz I got 8 out of 15 for. So yeah. An A- is still an A...almost. Okay, no. It isn't. Grrrr.

Recent health issues have had me drinking green tea and contemplating a lifestyle change. Almost. We already eat organic vegetables and antibiotic-free chickens. Eggs, too. The only thing I can think of is cutting down on sugar, and we both know the chances of that happening are very, very slim. For one crazy minute, I even thought of cutting down on Coke. I don't know if it will actually work, but I figure it's worth a shot, even if it doesn't at all affect said health issues, it'll probably feel good to be in control of something.

I'm trying to decide if I should spend the weekend like I spent the last week (which went by way too fast) - reviewing journal after journal - or if I should just chill. Hmmm.

hmph.

2007-08-15T11:46:00.000+08:00

So the one morning I actually decide to get out of bed at a semi-decent hour, it rains. I mean, come on. Who doesn't love staying in bed when it's all cold and rainy outside?

Getting work done when you're on holiday is excruciating. The lack of motivation is really, really bugging me. I have about two weeks left of holidays, so I've decided to stop working at my internship for a while so I can get some work for part of my thesis done.

But then, it decided to RAIN.

afternoon reflections

2007-08-06T14:01:00.000+08:00

I miss being in class. Being at work is...I don't feel like I'm doing anything relevant. But I keep telling myself that by helping them send e-mails and update databases and put together sponsorship kits, it gives them more time to do the really important things. It still doesn't help with how much I actually miss going to class. I miss my friends and arguing over where to have lunch.

The Bali and Penang trips still need to go here. On Saturday, we went to Bukit Tinggi with some family friends. Even though we've been there too many times, the company was excellent so I had a good time :)

It's been raining, so it's all cloudy and cool and sleep-inducing.

Have you ever felt like the universe is against you? Or that to have something you want is a constant fight against everything and everyone? How many times can you pick up the pieces and put yourself back together again before you just stay broken?

I think what's most important is realizing that you're not in this alone, and what you're fighting for is so beyond worth it.

I'm not giving up.

so much more than a destination...

2007-07-24T22:37:00.000+08:00

I spent the weekend in Bali. We arrived on Friday afternoon, and in the cab on the way to our hotel, I was looking out the window and I said, "I think we might have to come back...". I had barely been there for two hours, and already the place had captured me. The big fancy mall (Discovery) with the likes of Marks & Spencer and Topshop was so beautifully juxtaposed with little prayer offerings in containers made out of leaves, placed outside every shop and inside some cars. Walking down the little streets, we constantly had to look out for these, and the way in which the shopkeepers reacted to our swerving to avoid them ("never mind, it's okay!") told me that they were completely used to people walking into and over them, which didn't bother them at all. The contrast between old and new, modern and traditional, reminded me of Thailand, as did the people, who could seriously give the Thais, famous for their hospitality, a run for their money. Taxi drivers wait patiently and never use their horns, except to warn animals who wander into the street. Stuck behind a horse carriage (I think it's called a doka)? They wait until overtaking is possible and not a moment before. Tourists walk around shirtless. They drive motorcycles barefooted (and shirtless). The McDonald's in Kuta has a rack for surf boards outside, and instead of the usual pose on a bench, Ronald is catching a wave.

All of this made it seem like Bali is really more like a lifestyle than anything. I loved it. Details soon.

capsicum - yuk.

2007-07-23T21:46:00.000+08:00

One of the things my mother made for dinner today was capsicum with potatoes.

I hate capsicum.

I was having nachos with Kevin the other day before watching Transformers, and he was watching, amused, as I picked the capsicum bits (and onion bits) out. I explained to him how capsicum is just nasty, cuz even when you pick out every single bit, you'll still know it's there. You can tell that capsicum has been hanging around cuz it contaminates everything it comes into contact with.

On a brighter note, I spent most of today in pj's cuz it was all cold and rainy, so after having a shower that's what I reached for. There's absolutely nothing on tv, so I'm dealing with the pictures from our trip to Bali. That'll be up soon-ish.

21

2007-07-16T23:12:00.000+08:00

I turned 21 a little over two months ago. I promised details, so here they are.

For the longest time, I've been telling my mother I don't want to do the whole have-the-whole-world-over-and-parade-around thing. That's not really my sorta thing, and partying would have to wait till people were actually around. I said that I don't want to be here, and I wasn't :D

I had my suspicions a few months before, but even when you know something is up, you don't really believe something is going on until you know for sure. It bugs you for a while, then something else comes along and it gets chucked to the back of your mind. Anyway, when I got home on Wednesday, I was told that we would be leaving the next evening. I wasn't told where, which made packing a bit of a bitch. It shouldn't have, really, cuz I knew we weren't leaving the country, but still. I was only told to take "something nice for dinner", so other than that, I just took random things out of my closet and tossed them all over my bed, then tried to figure out what to put into my bag.

The next evening, I chose not to find out where we were going until the last minute possible, which was pretty much at the gate when they called for the flight - we were going to Kota Kinabalu. I still didn't have any details.

A two-hour flight later, we were picked up by my cousin (who lives there), and we went back to his apartment. Dinner was at this cool waterfront place just across the street from where he lives, and I was told that we would be "going to the real place" the next day.

from cousin's apartment. waterfront place is on the right.

After breakfast, we got into a cab and set off. I didn't know where we were going until we got there - Shangri La's Rasa Ria Resort, and holy mother of god let me tell you that they don't call the place the Shangri La for no reason. I still didn't know what we were doing there (no complaints, though...) until my mother told me that two years or so before, I had read about this place and told her I wanted to go there cuz they have a nature reserve with orang utans you can adopt!

the view from the lobby

I swear, the whole hotel knew it was my birthday. We were greeted with a bang on the gong, then as you walk in the musicians start to play music. It's the coolest thing. They just sit around until someone arrives or walks past, then they start playing.

musician fellow

The manager person was there, too. They gave us cold towels and iced peach tea while they were checking us in, then showed us around the place. We went to the Activities Desk to plan what we wanted to do, and after that we went to check the rooms out. Gorgeous. Completely gorgeous.

Then we went exploring. The pool was gorgeous, and the grounds are completely massive.

On one end are the stables (more on this later), the wedding pavilion and a very cool restaurant. Then it's the pool, an outdoorsy food place, the bar (more on this later, too), and further down is the nature reserve. We went to have lunch at the outdoorsy place, and while waiting for the food to arrive, my brother and I went to check the playground out, and we found one of the most amazing things - a trampoline! A few hundred bounces later...

...we went back to have lunch.

my lunch - fish and chips with ketchup in a little jar...so cute!

After lunch, we walked to the stables to get our horses for a ride on the beach. Each person gets a guide, but they let you ride your horse by yourself. You're totally in charge...or it's between you and your horse, rather. I walked mine right by the edge of the ocean, and it was completely beautiful. Oooh and on the way to the stables, we saw a little snake! I named him Steven.

For half an hour in the evening, you can have whatever you want from the gorgeous outdoorsy bar and not pay anything for it. I had a margarita while we played petanque, and then we hit the pool.

We watched the sunset from there, and later went down to the beach. It was unreal. Saying it was beautiful doesn't even come close to describing it.

After that, we went over to the gym place cuz in the locker rooms, they have a jacuzzi and steam room. It was the perfect finish. Then it was back to our rooms for showers, and then it was time for dinner at the hotel's North Indian restaurant, Naan. The chef came out to talk to us, and the food was excellent. Then, we went for a walk by the pool and just chilled. We went for a walk to check out the other gorgeous restaurant, and the place is crazy cool! It's got all these cool light things.

We went back to the room after that, and I had a gorgeous bubble bath. The water was really, really hot and there was heaps of lavender-scented bubbly foam. I settled in with a book and it was bliss :)

When it was 12, I was in the little garden outside our rooms. My family thought I was quite mad, but it felt so good to be outside and underneath the stars. My brother and I went back to the pool area and lay around on deck chairs. We had the most random conversation while I was looking up at the stars.

The next morning after breakfast, we headed to the Nature Reserve. My brother and I volunteered to do this ranger thing, where you help cut fruits and make milk for the orang utans, and you get to see them before everyone else does. We walked up into the jungle and at this clearing, there they were!

About six of them, and they were so cute! Swinging and playing and rolling down the hill :)

It was quite impossible to tell them apart, which I needed to do to chose who I wanted to adopt for a year, but right at the end of the tour, I chose one of the really cheeky fellows named Alan. A few hundred photographs later, we headed back down, and when we reached the Nature Reserve place, I (and a whole bunch of tourists) was surprised (again) with a cake and the hotel staff singing Happy Birthday, with a guitar player too!

After that, we went for a traditional boat ride on a nearby river that leads to the open sea.

part of a golf course

On the way back, we passed mussel farms and the like, and there was this little boy on a little boat, who was just paddling along and checking his traps for crabs. It was the coolest thing to watch. We had lunch at the outdoorsy place again, then we went to chill on the beach.

lunch - shirley temple and pizza

Chill, actually, might not be the best verb to use - it was intensely hot. The hotel staff came around with pieces of fruit on a skewer and to sell ice-cream. I went to the edge of the water for a bit, and cuz the sand was HOT, I couldn't take my flip flops off. The result? A flip flop tan :) But the water was sooo clear. I was in the evening before, and I saw a little fish and lots of seaweed things.

We left later that afternoon, and on the way to the airport we stopped at a craft market.

So that was my 21st.

guilt

2007-07-12T01:04:00.000+08:00

I haven't been doing a thing - and I feel very, very guilty. I should be getting started on my thesis. I really should be.

Monday, my mother wanted cake so I made one. Tuesday, I did absolutely nothing, and we had dinner in Antonio's with some family friends. Today, I was with Vee and Sue Peng. We had breakfast (roti canai for Vee), watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, had sushi (for Vee), went over to Sue Peng's and learnt how to play a beautiful, beautiful song called 9 Crimes by Damien Rice. Then was dinner in Decanter with everyone (and Jun Guan and Ling from England and Australia on the phone). The food was really, really good (Thai Crispy Chicken, Sizzling Tofu and Prawn Fritters), and there were lots of laughs :)

I've taken two polaramines since I got home from Sue Peng's and I just had Swiss Miss, so the only thing I can do now is sleep.

Not good.

everything changes

2007-07-08T23:40:00.000+08:00

It's been forever, hasn't it...but I confess, the main reason I'm doing this is cuz I'm on a sort-of-not-really holiday for the next two months or so, and I really, really don't want to lose track of the days.

A quick recap of what's been happening over the last month and a bit. Summer semester is now over. My two subjects were Cross Cultural Psychology (which can be summed up as - there are intercultural and intracultural differences as well as similarities...but seriously, this was a fun class) and Ethics (which can be summed up as - when in doubt, consult ethical guidelines/colleagues/laws, but at the end of the day, none of them will give you an answer. It's all relative...).

Recently, there was the B.Psych Student Council's first social event - Acoustic/Barbecue Night. That was quite a bit of fun. Before it started, Lavan, Harveen and me went to Kiosk for some fizzy vodka thing (Lavan had Vitagen), and even before we had any, we couldn't stop laughing. It was madness. I don't even remember what we were laughing about, but I'm quite sure we sounded absolutely ridiculous, cuz I was talking to Kev (who came later on) and Durvesh on the phone, and they were all, "what's going ON??".

There was also Summer Variety Concert, and even though we had no idea who most of the performers were, a few really stood out. There was a gorgeous acoustic version of Maroon 5's Sunday Morning and Pete Murray's So Beautiful. Even though the guys who performed So Beautiful couldn't really remember the words, they made up for it cuz one of them sounded so much like Brandon Boyd!

I watched a bunch of really good movies, with it being Summer and all. There were two beautiful French movies - Mon Petei Doigt M'a Dit (By the Pricking of My Thumbs), which was completely random and spur of the moment, and Hors de Prix (Priceless), which I really, really liked. There were also the big ones, Spiderman 3 and Fantastic Four 2 (FLAME ON!!!)...I still haven't watched Shrek 3, for some reason. And The Namesake, which was absolutely beautiful :) You wouldn't think that Kal Penn would've been able to pull off a non-Kumar (of Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle) type role, but he made it work. Oh, and I also watched Borat. I don't get what the big deal was. It was...not good, to say the least.

Vee came back from Melbourne. We went out for dinner to Friday's in The Curve, and she brought me Ozzie koalas, a Shrek keychain from Movie World that says "Princess" (hahah!), my postcard which she bought from the Gold Coast but refused to send cuz she didn't think I would get it...and after seeing it, I have to say I agree with her. There are three extremely foxy surfer type males on it ;) And she also brought my birthday present from her and Ling - a gorgeous, handmade purple beady necklace thing! Oooh and on the day she came back, she brought Krispy Kreme Original Glazed donuts and gummy bears!

My cousins came back, too - Khanitha (from Dunedin) and Vijay (from Perth). We went out just before Khanitha went back, to Friday's in The Curve...again. That was fun, even though it was supposed to be drinks and we ended up with a non-yummy brownie.

Priya came back from Perth, and she was here last week. I met up with her and Kay Li after my last exam on Wednesday, and she bought me a book I've been meaning to read for ages (The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri, the same movie I mentioned). We walked around Midvalley for a bit, looking for shoes, then we found these huge armchairs in Coffee Bean and didn't move for hours. Until a friend of hers called her and said that if we went and found the Mix FM Mega Shopaholic, who happened to be near Dorothy Perkins, we would win RM500. And we actually walked up to random strangers and asked them!

Yesterday was 07/07/07. Two things happened - the Live Earth concerts on every continent to bring attention to global warming (I watched it live-ish on the Internet...Jack Johnson!!), and the new Seven Wonders were revealed after a worldwide vote - Chichén Itzá, Mexico; the statue of Christ the Redeemer, Brazil; The Great Wall, China; Machu Picchu, Peru; Petra, Jordan; The Roman Colloseum, Italy; and the Taj Mahal, India. I've seen a grand total of one of those wonders, and I don't even remember it cuz I was a year old and running around the grounds of the Taj Mahal. That will change.

Yesterday, we went for dinner to Tarbush in Starhill's Feast floor/area/place thing. The place is really something to see...there are all these cool restaurants, and each one is so different from the others. Completely unique and completely gorgeous. Outside Starhill is the most bizarre thing - it's a Lecka Lecka al fresco place, but they've done it all Moroccan like, with billowy organza curtains and pretty lights. A closer inspection revealed that they don't only have ice-cream, which as much as I love the stuff, would be quite mad...they also have drinks and shisha. I wish it wasn't so far away, it looks like quite a cool hang out place.

The title of this post is 'everything changes', and yet, nothing has been about changes of any sort. What I meant by it, I can't go into detail. But two things happened. I thought I was close to this one person, but I realized just how far apart we were. I was a mess for a while, but I think I'm okay now. With the other...we just got a whole lot closer.

Have you ever heard that the more things change, the more they stay the same? A part of me wishes this was really true so that things between me and person #1 would be better. But that wouldn't work for person #2 as much, cuz then there would be no moving forward. Not completely a bad thing...okay, I think I'm bored of this already. I haven't read a book in ages, and there's one I just started right next to me :D

when the truth is...

2007-05-22T17:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Vee got my postcard that from Kota Kinabalu. She left a message for me on MSN -

biatch!!!!!!!! i luv ya luv ya very much
i received your kk postcard today!!!!!!

It made me smile. I think everyone should mail something to someone they care about every now and then, cuz getting stuff in the mail is seriously, so much fun.

Now, I'm working on a case study for Ethics about Sigmund and Ling (who is a boy, unlike my friend of the same name, who is a girl), which is why there are still no details about the surprise trip.

Late, late last night (or really, really early this morning), I remember thinking about my friends. And how much I miss them. And how much I'm looking forward to seeing them soon.

Song for a rainy afternoon - Warning Sign by Coldplay

...when the truth is, I miss you.

4.0

2007-05-16T19:35:00.000+08:00

Our results were released on Monday, and I almost don't want to put this here, but because it's a historical moment of sorts...*pauses for effect*...here it is.

I got 4 A's for Biopsychology, Human Personality, Abnormal Psychology and Human Factors and Ergonomics..

Meaning that my GPA for last semester is a solid 4.0 <--- this has never happened before.

Contrary to popular belief, I have never had results like this. I think the one that threw me the most was Ab. Psych., especially since the other day we heard that no one got Annie's diagnosis correct except one person (she was in our case study).

But everything I bitched about was very, very real.

Biatches - details of my birthday are coming soon, I promise.

tribal surprises

2007-05-09T22:10:00.000+08:00

Today we had our first Cross-Cultural Psychology lecture. I loved it.

Our really cool lecturer randomly divided us into four tribes. Hannah ended up with Nick and Viv, Ming Yan and Lavan ended up in the same group. I ended up with a bunch of people I've said approximately three words to (with the exception of one of them) in the two years I've been here.

But anyway.

Each tribe was assigned an identity they have to adopt for the duration of the semester. Ours was Extreme Individualism, which I didn't find a problem seeing as how I don't know the practically anyone in my group. We had to also come up with a tribe name (we chose The I-Me's, for obvious reasons...) and a tribe flag (one of them saw a lil sun thing I had drawn in my planner and liked it and that ended up being our flag). Then, adopting our identity, we were asked questions like what determined our self-esteem, and how we would react to a researcher wanting to study us. Some of my classmates really got into their roles, and it was quite scary! The Extreme Collectivism group answered one question in a chorus, and for another each person said one line. We did quite well ourselves :) So anyway, that was one of the most interesting classes I've ever attended.

It was a long, long day with a Student Council (dammit I forgot about the minutes!) meeting and a briefing for our undergrad thesis. But when I got home, I received a surprise which unless you already know by now, you'll just have to wait to hear about ;)

answer the phone

2007-05-08T22:28:00.000+08:00

What do you do when missing people becomes almost a default emotional state? It's always there, just at varying degrees. You become used to it, but that doesn't make it easier.

Everything else feels transient. Fleeting. Temporary distractions.

It's like you're on hold, which isn't always a bad thing. It gives you time to space out for a bit, or gather your thoughts. Sometimes, you get to listen to music, although let's face it - it's high time we got rid of the irritating elevator jingles and played some real music. But sooner or later, the waiting just gets on your nerves. You think, Hurry UP already! You contemplate hanging up, but you know you won't. You just keep waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

Because the alternative, is nothingness.

*Answer the Phone is a song by Sugar Ray. Whatever happened to them? I think the reason behind this title was me randomly picking up the phone and dialing four hundred digits to talk to my cousin in New Zealand. She wasn't there.

it ends tonight

2007-05-07T01:18:00.000+08:00

It's been a long, long day. I woke up and went to the gym while my brother was at his taekwondo class. Lunch was at Lake Club too, then I came home, had a quick shower (cuz i hate the changing rooms/showers in the club), then Mum and I went to Ikea and Ikano to pick some stuff up (another notice board for me and those really, really good biscuits from Sweden with jam in the center). When we got back, I made the chicken for dinner (tortilla wraps) and then it was time to leave again. My brother went for his tabla class so Mum and I went to the Buddhist temple in Brickfields while waiting for him, and ran some errands. I've been trying to go since Wesak Day, but it was weird - I felt nothing. An absence. But whatever.

When I got home, all I had time for was a quick shower before I made my dinner, then it was time for a really, really good episode of Grey's Anatomy. And somewhere along the line, I realized it was the last day of my so-called semester break. Maybe one that should have been spent doing nothing but lounging around the house...

thanking the music gods

2007-05-05T15:38:00.000+08:00

It's a hot, hot afternoon and I'm in my room with the a/c on. I finished a book, and logged on cuz I was bored. And I've got music on shuffle now, and the most perfect songs are playing. It's everything I want to listen to. It's completely perfect for the sleepy mood I'm in.

All I Need by Mat Kearney.

Honey and the Moon by Joseph Arthur.

Miracle by the Foo Fighters.

How to Be Dead by Snow Patrol.

Home by Michael Bublé.

Perfection.

someone stop the clocks.

2007-05-05T00:49:00.000+08:00

I slept in today, deciding to relish the tiny iota that's left of my so-called semester break. Then, I did nothing but watch tv and zap more humans. I've been having a major craving for Chinese food - Thai Fried Chicken in particular, so we went to Lake Club for dinner. We also had Butter Prawns which were amazing, and a broccoli, asparagus and tofu. On the way back home, we picked up The Devil Wears Prada, which I somehow managed to miss in the cinemas. The movie was okay...but the book was waaaay funnier.

I'm still tired. All the mornings I've slept in have evidently not been enough to recover. I am so not ready to go back to uni on Monday.

One good thing is that Mum bought these gorgeous, gorgeous mangoes in India. They taste like...okay, they're pretty amazing.

watercolors

2007-05-03T23:17:00.000+08:00

An sms-convo late, late last night resulted in me waking up today morning with a very graphic image of sunset on a beach with a hammock. I lay in bed for a while, looking at the image in my mind. But then, I just had to get up and grab something for me to draw it. I found a sketchbook in my watercolor set, got back into bed and tried to put down on paper what I had seen. Later on, I turned the sketch into a little watercolor painting. I'm happy with everything but the hammock. Who knew they were such a bitch to paint?

But man, does artistic expression feel good or what.

today, i was an alien...

2007-05-02T01:15:00.000+08:00

I spent about an hour today zapping KGB agents with my lazer gun thingy, and snatching the bodies of hippies.

Yes - me and our PS2 (named Beans) got reacquainted.

I wanted to continue playing Bully, which I started the last time I was on holiday, but something was wrong with it. It's completely ridiculous that I only play when I'm on holiday. That is going to change (something I always tell myself but it has yet to happen...). So I started playing Destroy All Humans 2 instead, after deciding that I wasn't in the mood to restart Prince of Persia 2.

ZzzzzzAP! Zap! Zap! I so missed it.

Later, I took the boys for dinner and a movie (The Number 23). It was a bit of a strange movie...I have two words to describe it but they're a bit rude so I won't put it up here, but you can ask me. If you've already watched it, check this out, which I figured out while driving home:

1 + 2 + 5 + 1 + 9 + 8 + 6 (my date of birth) = 32, which is 23 backwards.

You'd have to watch the movie to get that, but dum dum dum...lol :)

cookies

2007-04-28T20:48:00.000+08:00

My mother has gone to India for a couple of days, which means I have to be all responsible and do things. More than the usual, anyway. It's tiring. I keep checking the list that's stuck on the fridge to see if I haven't done something. Which reminds me, Charlie needs his medicine.

But today my brother and I made chocolate chip cookies. Seeing them stacked up in a container felt satisfying, but I'm still really tired.

of wars and being lost in translation

2007-04-26T22:54:00.000+08:00

This post is extremely overdue, but here's the second and third parts of our most recent trip to Thailand. Read Part One here.

We had breakfast at the hotel on the morning of Day 2 after I took some random pictures of the grounds.

Then, we took our taxi thing to the Bridge on the River Kwai which was about 10 minutes away from the hotel. My mum flipped when she saw it. There was this movie made about the events surrounding the construction of this bridge that she watched growing up, so she got all excited.

Being on the bridge itself was quite cool, cuz it's part of an actual, fully-operating railroad track. Two people can't really stand next to each other - someone has to move, and through the gaps in the bridge, you can see the River Kwai below you. There are these platforms at certain intervals , which is where people have to stand when the train crosses the bridge. We had planned to take the train to the Death Curve, so while we were waiting we walked across the bridge, which actually is a lot longer than it looks. We also checked out a little market. The train was all wooden and things, but man, it moved so fast! Hurtling through the countryside was an experience - we passed fields and farms and rivers. Every now and then, it would stop at what seemed like the middle of nowhere, with just a little bus-stop looking thing, and people would get off and begin their trek to wherever it was they were going. We passed a school, and a group of little girls waved at us. Also, people would walk through the carriages selling souvenirs but more interestingly, ice-cold drinks and food. We bought a packet of these miniature things that looked like curry puffs, with a sort of peanut stuffing. It was really, really good.

The Death Curve was about an hour away, and we had arranged for our taxi guy to pick us up from the station there. This gave me plenty of time to think about the poor people who were forced to build this railway. Back in the day, it was nothing but a jungle. They had to make their way through the wilderness, in the intense heat and build it from scratch. It's no wonder that so many of them died. They don't call it the Death Railway for nothing. The Death Curve is a part of the railway in which on the right side of the train is nothing but the face of the cliff, and the right side is a drop to the river below. At this point, everyone on the train rushes to the left side, and when you stick your head out the window, you see a line of heads and elbows.

We got off at the station just as the train was pulling away, cuz we weren't exactly sure if it was where our driver would be. Arranging the whole thing did take a while.Unlike the last few stations, this one was bigger and had little shops selling things like wooden, hand-carved objects and pictures made using buffalo skins. We met up with our taxi driver and after a quick drink, we set off for a waterfall. The journey took quite a while and we were famished when we reached our destination. I can't for the life of me, remember the name of the place. It's either Sai Yok Yai or Sai Yok Noi. We wanted to go to this huge, gorgeous (from the pictures, anyway) one, but for that you had to take a boat and all and we didn't have time. So we had lunch, and then made our way up to the waterfall.

It was all pretty and very shady, and my brother, my mum and I went all the way up. After wandering around for a bit, we got back into the taxi thing for the trip back to the hotel. After checking out, we stopped by the very well maintained War Cemetery. Everything was so neat and orderly. So many of the soldiers who died were really, really young.

After that, we were dropped off at in town, where the buses to Bangkok depart from. We picked up reinforcements (Lay's, which is ridiculously cheap in Thailand and comes in the most outrageous flavors like Seaweed, Extreme Seafood...or maybe Extreme Barbecue, cant' remember...and Bacon & Cheese. And yes, I had Original...), and settled in for what was supposed to be a two-hour journey. Just after the bus pulled away, a Thai karaoke video started to play. Loudly. It was hilarious. My mum said by the end of the two hours, we'd be able to speak fluent Thai. I think that was when I started to read The Devil Wears Prada (and loved every page). The whole journey took over two hours, and the sun was setting when we reached Bangkok. Restlessness was in the air - from my side of the bus, you couldn't see the road signs, so I had no idea where we were or how long more it would take. The early sunset made it seem later than it really was, which was quite frustrating.

The next task was to get a taxi and get to the hotel, which was the most harrowing experience I've ever had while traveling. The first taxi guy had no idea what we were saying, but the second guy said okay. He turned out to be a little...odd. He kept talking to himself, and we begun to wonder if he had any idea where he was going. He didn't, and we made him stop at the first major hotel we saw. The concierge proceeded to give him the wrong directions, and at this stage, I was ready to scream. I wanted out of that taxi so. bad. He was getting quite creepy, so when we saw another famous hotel, we made him stop, and this time, we got out. The people at this hotel were able to call ours and let them know we were on our way (which was really nice of them), and after a whole bunch of taxis turned us down cuz the area we were staying in would have been a little hectic, we finally got into a taxi, and we finally, finally got to our hotel.

We were exhausted, and after showers, we left for the Suan Lum Night Bazaar that we had visited on our last trip. It hadn't changed, and we wandered around deciding where to have dinner. We settled on this outdoorsy place, and as we were leaving, Home by Michael Bublé started to play. I had an 'awwwww' moment, until the guy started singing with a Thai accent. Then, it got funny :) We hit the shops, and I bought a whole bunch of things, including my now-favorite t-shirts (one says 'Hate', but 'Love' when you look at it in the mirror, and the other says "I'm not spoiled, just well taken care of...). The guy I bought them from was really nice, spoke perfect English and had the coolest t-shirts. We took a tuk-tuk back to our hotel, and crashed.

The next morning, we walked to the nearest BTS (their version of the LRT, which is a really, really good idea. You avoid the crazy traffic and the crazy heat) station, and left for Siam Square, which is where we stayed the last time. It was really nice to see all the familiar places, like the restaurant where we had amazing food twice and Hard Rock Café with it's tuk-tuk embedded into the front of the building. We had breakfast at the same waffle place and Orange Julius, then we walked to MBK, which is this shopping mall that everyone goes to. I bought my now-favorite pair of jeans there, and they altered it for me in half an hour. I also ran out of Bahts, and had to borrow money from everyone else. Lunch was McDonald's, which was so strange cuz they had all these pork burgers (Samurai Pork and a burger where instead of buns, you get glutinous rice). After spending more money than I had and a quick trip to the supermarket to pick up some green curry paste and a glass Coke bottle for my cousin (he collects them), we left for the hotel. My brother, my dad and I walked to 7-11 for more reinforcements (Lays for my friends and sandwiches for us), and after showers, we checked out and left for the airport.

Near KL, I started throwing up, which at the time, I thought was the strangest thing. I've been flying since I was 1, and I don't remember ever being sick on a plane. I didn't think it was strange when I didn't stop throwing up for nine or so hours - it definitely wasn't travel sickness. A trip to the doctor rounded up a difficult night.

Overall, this wasn't the easiest holiday we've been on, and there were definitely moments where we were all stressed out. But there were also moments that made it all worth it :)

"Not all who wander are lost." -J.R.R. Tolkien

the more things change, the more they stay the same

2007-04-25T16:22:00.000+08:00

I was adding a link list, and I found this. It was interesting to see how I've changed in the last two years, and also how I've stayed the same...

11. I love music
12. I love animals
13. I want to travel all around the world and see everything

--That hasn't changed one bit :)

15. I am told that I am extremely picky when it comes to food

--My friends will attest to this ;)

21. I don’t drink coffee

--I wish. I was converted during the semester of Advanced Quantitative Methods (Summer 2006).

22. I’ve been contemplating getting my nose pierced since last December

--I did get it pierced, on my 19th birthday.

26. I don’t like healthy food – I don’t go anywhere near muesli, oats, and the like. Horse food should be eaten by horses, not humans

--Hahah! :) I still refuse muesli bars.

37. I remember really random things, so why can’t I remember what the five elements of the OCEAN personality test are?

--I still remember really random things, but Openness to Experience - Concientiousness - Extraversion - Agreeableness - Neuroticism. Wooo!

48. I want the Nokia 7260

--I don't even know what the Nokia 7260 is now. What I want is right now is Island by Michael Kors.

49. I never thought I’d have a blog

--I still call this a non-blog blog. I don't like the connotations associated with the word.

I am a firm believer that your experiences influence who you are as a person, so I suppose this shouldn't come as a surprise. But this is exactly why I do this. More for myself than anything else.

the last four months...

2007-04-25T00:02:00.000+08:00

This is a review of last semester, which was the last of Year 2. It now seems like it started such a long time ago, until you realize that it's practically May, and four whole months have flown by. Classes were fun (courtesy of a very amusing lecturer), extremely difficult (quizzes on Monday based on pre-reading, plus case studies due), and difficult to sit through (reading slides verbatim is not lecturing, sorry...). There were some good times, but at the end of it, all I felt was completely drained. There were so many assignments and projects and quizzes and case studies, and the workload was consistent - no breaks. As someone put it, a test of human endurance. It felt like torture at the time, so I'm just really glad it's over. That said, we really did learn a lot, and some of the assignments were fun. I tried looking through my older posts to link stuff to this one, but there's waaay too many. Seriously. It shouldn't be that difficult to find, though. I did bitch about the semester a bit ;) I don't remember if I put a lot of the good stuff in here (like getting 100 on an essay...).

For Abnormal Psychology, we had to perform 15 hours of community service. These were taken on a visit to a shelter for women with backgrounds involving prison, drugs or AIDS. We were assigned to the kitchen cabinets. The boys were assigned to the men's home, where they washed cars and spent the rest of the afternoon chatting with the person in charge.

The cabinets weren't in the best of conditions. That glass was swarming with those...creatures, and there were a whole bunch of glasses. Viv really got into the whole thing, and went all Buffy on a cockroach. Hilarious :)

The nosy cat belongs to the lady in the picture, who lives at the center and helped us with the cabinets. Lavan got "friendly" with it (check out what she's doing in the second picture on the top), and Hannah (who also doesn't like cats, we found out...) taught undomestic-me the coolest way to squeeze a mop that doesn't involve you having to actually touch it. My latent obsessive-compulsive (using that term loosely, now that I know DSM criteria for the actual thing...) tendencies surfaced - I kept washing the grime and dead bugs off my feet every couple of minutes.

We made many trips to Petaling Street. The first time was for lunch on a Friday in between classes, and the place we headed to was a shop that specializes in beef noodles. The beef comes in three variants - balls, meat and insides. The first time we went there, I happened to be sitting right by where they assemble the noodles, so I just watched as the lady would cut these chunks of red, raw meat, toss them them in the soup along with some stomach bits. The stomach bits were...peculiar. They looked so strange, I can't imagine what they must taste like. We went there again, after our second community service session, and to another shop selling the same thing after the first session. While my friends had their noodles, I had McDonald's twice, and a strawberry filled donut once.

Top L - R: Hannah took this picture while we were waiting for Lavan at the Pasar Seni LRT station before one of our sessions. We always ended up walking through Petaling Street, so my friends could satisfy cravings for air mata kucing, soya bean, watches and the latest season of Grey's Anatomy.

Bottom L - R: The lady at the shop. Check out the insides! Lavan with my lunch.

Some of the random pictures that were taken e we were walking to/from the centers. The Bottom R picture was taken outside the Street Fellowship center.

This is the place where the Urban Feeding is conducted. It's basically a long tent that's erected and dismantled every weekend, in an area notorious for its drug-related activities. The food is contributed by a church (rice, chicken curry, and stir-fried cabbage) or sometimes, by The Chicken Rice Shop. Volunteers fill up rows and rows of plates before distributing the food to avoid any arguments or fights, and there's also Chinese tea and teh tarik available. The people who come here are homeless, and we recognized a few of them from the Street Fellowship. The first time we were there, it was extremely hot, and the tent didn't help. The second time we were there, it was pouring. Both times, there were many, many people who had come there for a hot meal. We learnt that this has been going on for nine years. It made me wonder how many people actually knew that things like this were going on all this time.

We helped by serving and distributing the food, and later by collecting used cutlery. We were quite drained at the end of the first session, probably cuz of the intense heat. Viv actually asked for Mentos. She usually doesn't go anywhere near anything that isn't sugar free.

This semester we had elections for the very first Student Council of the B.Psych program. Hannah was nominated as President, and we set out to make sure that she won :) But by the time we actually got down to posters and stickers, a lot of other people had already started campaigning. We made posters that described her accomplishments, and handed out stickers that said 'Vote Hannah Lim for President!'. Somewhere along the line, we were talking and a light bulb went off, and we came up with the idea for the pink poster. We laid out the paper on the floor of DSA in Wisma HELP, and she lay down on them, and I traced her outline. The place was pretty deserted, but it would have been interesting if there were heaps of people there. All our hard work paid off, cuz she won! Later, I was elected as the Secretary.

I think it was right before the Chinese New Year break when apparently it was decided that everyone was going to wear red. I don't wear a lot of red. I think I have like...one, red t-shirt. And I was pretty damn sure Lavan wouldn't wear red, but she surprised us all. They made me hold Lavan's Sponge Bob (it was a present) for not comforming. The picture on the right is of our prize-winning (!!!) poster for Human Personality, and was taken just after we finished pasting everything. It was a content analysis of personal ads from a website, and Viv had this really cool idea of printing out the ads (or the bits where they described themselves anyway) and cutting hearts out. It looked very, very cool.

That was also when the hecticness picked up, and soon it was Research Colloquium, where we had to present for Abnormal Psychology. The first picture on the top row was taken during the Keynote Speech we attended. Some time in March (it was after the outdoorsy wedding), I had brought Viv's nail polish back, and Hannah and Lavan decided to paint their nails during class.

The rest of the pictures were taken during our lunch in Chili's with Winnee, our former Research Methods lecturer who is leaving HELP. It was the last day of lectures, right before our finals, so it was good to blow off some steam.

So I guess that's pretty much it. I know I still haven't finished parts two and three of the Thailand trip, I'll get to it soon (Vee - I'm trying to entertain you!).

Song for today - Yesterday and today, I've been listening to Beg by Evans Blue and Shattered by Level. Random stuff from a friend, but good stuff.

tristan and dinglehoppers

2007-04-23T23:51:00.000+08:00

Today I watched Legends of the Fall, which I haven't watched in years. It was my favorite movie for the longest time, and watching it again made me remember why. It's a beautiful, beautiful movie...and I'm not just talking about Brad Pitt and his gorgeous hair. The way the story was told is beautiful...all that tragedy...the score is beautiful, the scenery...everything.

Later on, I watched The Little Mermaid. It was released in 1989, the year I turned 3. I have a vague memory of watching with my dad with all the lights off, and Ursula scared me. Then my mum came home, and she had with her a chocolate ball. I love how it still makes me laugh. Like when Scuttle the seagull tried to explain the function of a fork (which he called a 'dinglehopper') to Ariel, he said "Just a little twirl here, and a yank there, and voilà! You've got an aesthetically-pleasing configuration of hair that humans go nuts over!" :)

Good times.

girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money.

2007-04-22T01:29:00.002+08:00

Today was the Good Charlotte show. We took a train to Bukit Jalil and when we got there at about 5ish, there were all these people just sitting down and hanging out in front of the gates (it was held in a car park area), and from where we were, we could see the stage. There weren't any lines, so we managed to get right up to the entrance, where we had to wait for maybe an hour before they let us in. What sucked was the took our really nice tickets and ripped them, and that was it. They were proper tickets and all, nice and shiny, and all we got in return was a wrist band. Pfft.

So then, we made our way to the very front of the section we were in. We had a pretty decent view. At the entrance, we were given these inflatable thingies that make a really loud clanging sorta noise when you whack them together. My brother and my cousins decided to inflate theirs and that kept them occupied for a while...that is, when they weren't bitching about the RM5 they had to pay for a paper cup-full of Pepsi (yuk) or Sprite.

What seemed like aaaages later, Colby and...I think it was Fazura or something, from MTV came out (later on it was Utt and Denise. Or maybe it was Colby and Denise...yeah, that makes more sense...) and it was time for the opening acts. Which were really, really good - One Buck Short, Estranged and Lo. I'd definitely say these are the better bands in the country. I can't even remember the names of the bands who opened for INXS or Simple Plan, and Too Phat got boo-ed when they opened for Linkin Park. One Buck Short had oodles of energy, and even though I had absolutely no idea what they were saying, they were fun. One of the guys in the band is the brother of one of the lecturers at HELP, so that was fun too. Estranged is new, I think, and they're famous for this one song, Itu Kamu. The funny thing is, none of their other songs sound anything like this one, they're so much more heavier! But they were good too. Then was Lo, who did that really strange 'Old Newspaper' song, and the nice Operator one. During his last song though, we decided to leave the area we were in cuz we noticed that suddenly, a lot of people were entering the so-called VIP area. It took a while, but we managed to make it out, and we breezed into the VIP area, getting quite close to the stage.

At about 10ish, finally, Good Charlotte came on stage. They opened with some random song (there were a few of these), and they played The Anthem, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, Girls and Boys, I Just Wanna Live, Predictable, We Believe, Keep Your Hands Off My Girl, The River and a bunch of other songs I didn't know. Like Dance Floor Anthem, which is really cute it goes "put up your hands, say I don't wanna be in love". They're quite good live, and they're very, very nice people. Joel kept talking about how he wants to move here. The other two, the bassist and Billy, they don't talk at all. It was just Benji and Joel, but somehow they made it work.

After the show, we were supposed to take the train back to Masjid Jamek, and we had made plans to go to the McDonald's there and all, but when we got to the train station, there was a huge crowd of people standing outside, and we found out that they had closed. It was 12, and the tickets said the trains were running till 12.30. The stuffy security people said something like the organizers hadn't informed them, so we had to wait to be picked up. Now, my back is killing me, so I think this is it.

*The title is a line from Girls and Boys ;)

clear skies ahead

2007-04-20T18:20:00.000+08:00

So it's over. Two weeks of hell, and it's all over. For now, anyway. The lovely people at HELP decided that after all they put us through, all we need is two weeks to recover. Thoughtful people :) But yeah. In two weeks, I start Year Three. But we're not going to go there, cuz thinking about academic stuff is incredibly exhausting.

Yesterday I had my last two papers, Human Personality and Human Factors. That's seven essay questions. It was pretty intense, and the HF questions were so non-specific, there was SO much that had to be written down.

Some of the stuff that's happened lately...oh there was Easter a while back. We had the family over for lunch, that turned into tea. It was nice, though :) We found out things about one of my cousins that somehow I don't think we should have =O

Exams. What sucked was we were having lectures right up till the finals. Our last lecture was Friday, Monday was our first paper. No study break. It was excruciating. I can't remember the last time I took an exam without having studied all the material, but that's exactly what happened for the HF exam. There were ten MCQ's from three chapters, which I didn't have the time to read. There was one day when I was studying Antisocial Personality Disorder and Sociopathy, and I was all sick, so I ended up skipping the rest of that chapter too. So I'm just really, really glad it's all over.

We had a really nice lunch with one of our lecturers, Winnee, who is, as unbelievable as this may be, leaving HELP. We went to Chili's in BSC on the last day of class. It was then we found out another lecturer (with whom I took French and Anthropology) is leaving as well. It doesn't make any sense. Both these people are so much a part of the HELP experience.

So far, all I've been doing is watching oodles of tv. I had a whole bunch of stuff recorded from the past week, and I also ended up watching The Island with Ewan McGregor today.

Tomorrow is the Good Charlotte concert. Hannah sent me an e-mail cuz I don't have comments enabled on here (don't ask me why, I don't know either...) saying that she had to Google them, which I thought was hilarious :) How much fun would it be for her to go hahahahah! Hannah at a rock concert.

Now, I'm talking to Ling and Vee, and Ling just said that she leaves her place at the time her lecture starts. I love how some things never change :)

Tonight's Provoked.

mail

2007-04-16T22:28:00.000+08:00

Today, I had my first final paper - Abnormal Psychology (joy!). It was the longest, longest paper. Two and a half hours of solid, non-stop work, and it still wasn't enough! She had us do three diagnoses. If you're not familiar with the DSM, let me put it this way - it's a lot of writing. I ran out of pages in my answer booklet, and was still writing when they went, "Stop writing".

Anyway. When I got home, I crashed on the couch to watch last week's episode of Heroes, and when my mum got home, she brought in the mail and much to my surprise, there were four tickets for the Good Charlotte show this weekend. I vaguely remember entering some random contest on mtvasia.com, but I definitely wasn't expecting this.

And icing on the proverbial cake was a postcard all the way from Venice. I knew it was coming, cuz Kev kept asking me if it had arrived and kept swearing at the Venetian mailmen when I kept telling him it hadn't, but it was very, very nice all the same.

I love getting mail. Even e-mails (the kind that people actually take the trouble to write, not just click on the 'Forward' button) are fun :)

One final down, three to go.

the calm before the storm

2007-04-09T17:35:00.000+08:00

I just printed out my last assignment of the semester - a five page reflection on all the things I learnt throughout the semester in my Human Factors class. I would be ecstatic, except that it means now I have to start studying for finals which are next week. There are a million chapters, and we don't get a study break. Oh, and there's the fact that our semester break has been reduced to two weeks, to make way for the two-month so-called break we get in the middle of the year, which isn't really a break because that's when I may do a two-month internship, which could actually be quite fun, but there goes my holiday.

Joy.

music. really, really good music.

2007-04-09T14:48:00.000+08:00

On the way back from class today, Signal Fire by Snow Patrol was on the radio. It's on the soundtrack of Spiderman 3, and it's really, really good. Another really, really good song is The Fear You Won't Fall, by Joshua Radin. This was on last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy. Priya and I had a moment yesterday, when we swore that it was written for us.

Don't you just love really, really good music? :)

Signal Fire

The perfect words never crossed my mind

Cuz there was nothing in there, but you.

The Fear You Won't Fall

And I miss you more than I should

Than I thought I could

Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall

i hate the world.

2007-04-08T16:29:00.000+08:00

Yesterday kinda sucked.

Okay no, that would be an understatement. I spent hours on a case study for Biopsychology. It was the most annoying assignment ever. Fred is the new F-word. Don't say it.

Then there was this video I got from Priya about how dolphins are killed in Japan. It made me cry, and it made me hate the world. You can sign the petition here. I really, really hope this isn't one of those gag petitions that everyone just signs but nothing happens.

Then, there was Charlie. We found out last week that he probably has arthritis, which is apparently normal for 4 to 5 year old bunnies. Charlie is 6. We took him to the vet cuz his arms were all floppy. So we've been giving him medicine since then, and he seemed like he was actually getting better. Until yesterday, when he went back to how he was when we first took him to the vet. He could barely scratch his ear. He wanted to, but it was so difficult for him. It's killing me.

Happy Easter.

Song for last night -- Answer by Sarah McLachlan

Cast me gently into morning,
For the night has been unkind

surprises

2007-04-06T19:47:00.000+08:00

I was talking to Priya the other day, and I was telling her how I was waiting and waiting and waiting for my brother to get me Catalyst by Anna Nalick, which was on Grey's Anatomy the other day. It's not that I'm not completely capable of getting it myself, it's just that for some reason, the connection on the desktop is faster than on my laptop.

Anyway.

Today when I got home, I found the song in my inbox. Priya got it and sent it to me. It's little things like this that make you realize just how much you love your friends.

crayons

2007-04-05T14:07:00.000+08:00

Today in Human Factors class, we were handed a box of crayons (other groups got markers, not sure why...) and a piece of mahjong paper, and asked to apply the principles of automation (don't worry about what it is). While we were thinking, we started to get creative. Even if it did feel like we were in kindergarten, and even though Hannah (her group finished way before we did) came up to us and went, "this isn't art class!", it felt good to be able to get colorful. The end result - a presentation that won the most number of votes and was saved for the last by our lecturer :)

I liked Harveen's example of calling McDonald's and being asked to press one if you're ordering less than 18 items ("Who came up with 18?!!"). And during the presentation, she went "Bloody hell! All I want is a burger!" The hilarity :)

I actually got sick of jeans (which I otherwise live in) today, and I wore this long, white skirt that has gold leafy type stencil things on it.

I miss painting. And my charcoal pencil.

Song for Today - Someday You'll Know by the New Radicals.

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow

I watched the stars crash in the sea

cake

2007-04-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

Today was my dad's birthday. Feeling particularly indecisive, we decided on getting slices of cake as opposed to a whole cake. There were six different types of cake from Secret Recipe - Chocolate Indulgence (yum), Chocolate Banana, Tiramisu (I think. I tasted coffee bleh), Black Forest, White Chocolate Macadamia and Lemon Cheesecake (I think). Plus, there's a whole Marble Cheesecake in the fridge. I am so. full.

Back to literature review now.

uni on a sunday (!!)

2007-04-01T19:56:00.000+08:00

Today was Research Colloquium. We attended three sessions back-to-back (one was a keynote speech), then we had a break for lunch and to rehearse our presentation. It went okay, our lecturer quite liked it, but apparently not enough to award us a prize HMPH. We attended another presentation after that, and then it was time for the prize giving. For our Human Personality poster, we won RM150 MPH book vouchers, which when you divide by six people, doesn't really amount to a whole lot. But we won =D

When I got home, I got as far as the couch. Then, my brother and mum had leave for his tabla class, and I had to get off the couch (easier said than done) and move the other car cuz it was in the way. I couldn't be bothered to turn, so I drove around the block, and when I got back, I realized that my brother had locked me and my dad (who was fixing something in the garden) out of the house. So then, I had to walk to my grandmother's house (which is down the road) to call my mother, who then had to drive all the way back from the Temple of Fine Arts to give us the key. After all that, I decided a soak was in order. So I drew a bath, poured in some Velvet Crush liquid foam-generating stuff, and finally got out of my new long-sleeved shirt that I had to get for today's presentation (it's white with vertical blue stripes and from WH) and black pants which I've been in since 9 today morning.

I know I have a literature review to write, but I don't think I can manage anything more than sitting in front of the tv watching Grey's Anatomy tonight.

**I didn't get to watch tv last night. Brother was watching some football game. Bleh.

random updates

2007-03-31T15:19:00.000+08:00

It's been a pretty crazy...I think almost three weeks. So much has been going on, and I hate how it's difficult to remember every little thing, but I'm going to try anyway.

Uni-wise, things have been hectic. Last Friday, we had two quizzes, a group report, a group presentation, a poster, and a mock presentation. All of that. In one day. It made us think that somewhere, someone really, really messed up. Who does that to people??

We also finished up our community service. The second time we went to Petaling Street, it was all rainy so the atmosphere under the tent wasn't as uncomfortable as the first time. We met Kim again, and there were a few familiar faces. I don't know if we'll ever do it again now that we don't have to, but I think it would be nice.

Last Wednesday was Poster Defence for our Human Personality poster. Our research was a content analysis of personal ads, which really was as fun as it sounds, even though we did the whole thing in one day. Our poster turned out really cool, too. We printed some of the ads we analyzed, and Viv had this idea to cut out lil hearts from it. It was really different from the other posters we've had to do before, and I have to say I prefer this, as opposed to the lab report format. Oh, and we were told that we won Best Poster for this class!

Human Personality Research Project - Content Analysis of Personal Ads

We also ended up turning the abovementioned presentation into a poster on Thursday, even though our lecturer okay-ed a presentation. After class, Viv drove me home to print out the slides, and by the end of the day, we had ourselves a poster. According to her, we're getting so good at this that we'll soon be able to write literature reviews in half an hour.

Human Factors & Ergonomics Research Project - Hand Tools

I also had to make a poster for the Psych Wall, which is one of the many bulletin boards lining the staircase. It was on Health Psychology. We've also been getting our midterms back here and there. I have been doing a lot better than I thought I would be. I got a perfect score on an essay on why I think people behave the way they do. Our very cool lecturer doesn't see why we shouldn't get a 100 if we did a good job.

Tomorrow (yes, tomorrow. A Sunday.) is Research Colloquium, which is where students present their research projects to other students and the faculty. We're presenting for Abnormal Psychology, on the Dangers of Addiction, which is related to our community service. I still can't quite believe I have to spend the whole of Sunday in uni. I mean, hello?? But we have the prize giving ceremony to look forward to =D

Enough about academics.

Somewhere along the line, I managed to watch 300 with my brother. I expected good things and I wasn't disappointed. I think having a six-pack was a prerequisite for being in that movie. Seriously. But other than that, the effects were quite cool. The part with the whip...

Some time ago, we went to Malacca for the wedding of my dad's cousin's daughter. She's 26 or something, and the guy she married is 19. Made no sense to me, but he was clearly very, very into her. He couldn't stop smiling. The wedding was quite different from the usual. The reception was outdoors (the whole thing was in some retreat), and get this - they had fireworks! REAL fireworks! The kind you see at New Year's. How cool is that, seriously.

The other day, Ling and I were chatting on MSN, and this was when Stefan decided to self-destruct, so I was using the desktop. And suddenly, the phone next to me rang, and it was Ling. It was so good to talk to her :)

The other day, it was really, really hot, but when the sun set, it was gorgeous. Blue sky interrupted by patches of orange.

And speaking of gorgeous things - sms conversations/chats late into the night, and when you wake up the next morning, it feels almost surreal, and makes you wonder if it really happened.

So I think that's it for the random updates. Time for some random tv.

what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.

2007-03-13T23:07:00.000+08:00

I left my house at 9 a.m. to go to Hannah's, from where we took a bus to KL Sentral, and then a train to near Viv's house. She picked us up and then we got to work on our content analysis project for Human Personality. We only stopped for lunch (excellent nasi lemak) and ice-cream (Magnum, yaay!). I got home just before 9 p.m. After a quick shower and dinner, it was back to work. I only just finished.

I have another assignment due and a quiz, both on Friday. Tomorrow is a Student Council meeting and a hair cut.

I'm so beyond tired, but I think I'm going to reward myself with an episode of Nip/Tuck before I crash.

the return of patches

2007-03-12T22:15:00.000+08:00

There are a bunch of cats that live in the lane behind my house. The nice people that we are, we feed them. When I say feed, I really mean spoil...

It started with this one white cat, who had Patches (a girl) and Marmalade (a boy). I know, I know. But we can't tell if they're boys or girls when we name them, so they get random names depending on their appearance or their personality. I wanted to name Patches Fang, cuz she just had that look. The 'you talking to me?' kinda look.

Then, there was Peaches (a boy, unfortunately) and Fidget, a girl. Then there was Jack (a boy, lucky him), who belongs to Patches. Then there was Henry and Lyla, who belonged to Fidget. Lyla disappeared, and we rescued Henry and my aunty took care of him because he was sick and she's a cat person (they have like eight cats). It was then that we found out Henry is a girl, and my aunty renamed her Cleo.

Anyway. Patches disappeared a while ago, and we got all upset, cuz she really is the coolest. She doesn't give a damn, and I know that's how you would generally describe cats, but Patches is different. The others would be all whiny for food, but she'd just sit there and look at you. Marmalade disappeared too, ages ago, so we didn't think we'd see Patches again.

Today, she reappeared. She's all scrawny, but she still has the look.

Today was a really long day, and it's far from over. It's going to be a really long week, too...

brothers, cheese and effortless perfection.

2007-03-11T22:03:00.000+08:00

It was my brother's birthday on Friday. I was going to get him the new Fall Out Boy CD, but for some reason, the shops only had this "Special Malaysia Edition" which although is cheaper (RM29.90), doesn't have an inlay. In my books, that is completely and irrevocably blasphemous. So I didn't get it for him, and instead I took him and my cousin out for lunch to Kim Gary's in The Curve, because my brother has a thing for cheese-baked rice, and because my cousin misses his sister.

The boys had their cheese-baked rice, one with Szechuan pork and one with a pork chop (incidentally, that's the name of our Uno Attack machine thingy). I had something with a name that was much too long. It was basically a chicken chop in curry, with melted cheese over it. They like cheese, these Kim Gary people. I've only ever been here once, with Ling and Vee. They're both in Melbourne now, and going there today reminded me of when we were there and Ling kept ogling one of the waiters.

Now, I have to finish a case study on a schizophrenic named Peter. He hears voices and thinks the FBI is after him. He also thinks that there are messages for him in television shows.

I love long phone conversations, where you don't really talk about anything, but you're talking about everything at the same time. Effortless perfection.

is it still called 'community service' if it's compulsory?

2007-03-10T23:51:00.000+08:00

So the midterms are over. Before the Biopsychology paper on Friday, I realized that I had done 320 mcq's for the eight chapters that we were supposed to study. I didn't realize it was that many (I was impressed!), but they seriously helped. Those questions were in the exam =D the other questions were just...strange. But reading the textbook, I learnt the most random things. Like fish have three types of muscles - red, pink and white. White muscles are most susceptible to fatigue, and red the least. Pink is obviously somewhere in the middle.

Today, we had some more community service. First we went to this Street Fellowship place in Petaling Street, which is basically a place where the homeless can come for very basic meals, and to wash up and things. Then, they had a Bible study led by Nick. I was flipping through a Bible during that. Seeing as how I've never actually read the actual one (I have the kids' version), I learnt some pretty interesting things...like Noah lived till he was 950. And that 'Babel' was from a Hebrew term meaning confusion. I want to watch the movie!

After that, we talked to the coolest person, Kim. She was telling us all sorts of completely fascinating things about her life. Then was time for lunch (McDonald's for me, beef noodles for the rest), after which we went to the street feeding place, where a whooole bunch of people come on weekends for meals. That was quite the experience...these are homeless people, junkies, ex-convicts...all sorts of people. But even though it's compulsory community service, it was an amazing experience.

Later, there was a little dinner thing for the Student Council. It was quite fun, nice to meet up outside college.

Tired now. I'm thinking I'd like some Dr. Christian Troy...

exams, egg tarts, exhaustion and eclipses.

2007-03-04T11:56:00.000+08:00

Three midterms are over. The last one is on Friday. Human Factors was on Thursday morning, and Human Personality was on Friday morning. I found the latter more challenging – 70 MCQ’s and two one-page essays. I had to discuss the points of convergence and points of divergence in the personality theories of Freud and Adler, and Horney’s view on human nature - yes, you read that right. Her name really is Horney. Karen Horney. Our lecturer refuses to pronounce it like ‘horny’. The way he says it, the end bit rhymes with ‘high’ :) For human factors, there were 30 MCQ’s...strange ones. And a three-part essay that was just over two and a half pages long.

After the Personality exam, we went to Midvalley for lunch, and ended up in Secret Recipe. There’s one in the Main Block, but we were supposed to go watch Dreamgirls. That didn’t happen. Lunch was good. I had chicken lasagna, which had a little too much garlic. I burnt my tongue, and more than a day later, it still feels weird. For dessert, we had Chocolate Indulgence cake. They don’t call it that for fun. It was excellent. Viv wanted to buy some bird’s nests after that, while we went to Carrefour cuz Hannah wanted shampoo and I wanted these French chocolate chip cookies that are really, really good.

Later, Hannah bought me an egg tart. For some reason, they find it really hard to believe that I’ve never had an egg tart. It wasn’t a choice or anything, it just never happened! But my friends decided that was unacceptable, so they’ve been talking about getting me egg tarts for months. I didn’t eat it there and then, so I was made to promise that when I did later, I’d get someone to take a picture as evidence. My brother recorded it – quite funny. I’d have liked it to be sweeter, and the pastry to be a little crunchier, but it was good.

After dinner, I ended up going over to watch a movie with Anisha and Priyanka. We went to 7-11 to get some ice-cream (I don’t remember the last time I had a Magnum, and it was SO good) and then we watched The Last Kiss with Zach Braff, Rachel Bilson (Summer on The OC) and Jacinda Barrett (from Ladder 49). Out of the three of us, I was the only one who liked it. It had some good music too, apparently thanks to Zach Braff. I’ve got a bunch of the songs, but I haven’t listened to them yet.

Yesterday was a long, long day. I got up, went to tutor Harein, then came home and had lunch before Hannah picked me up. For Abnormal Psychology, we have to perform 15 hours of community service. So we (I use this loosely…) spent the afternoon cleaning out kitchen cabinets in the women’s home. I dropped a blender of some sort on my toe. Then, we went to a nearby supermarket to buy a case of mineral water for them, because they wanted to keep these really old plastic bottles.

When I got home, I had a quick shower then went to One Utama with my mother. I finally got that kimono top I liked. Then was dinner, and I watched the Liverpool/Manchester United match with my brother. I was completely asleep during half-time, and only woke up when Steven Gerrard almost scored. Know what I think is completely amusing? How the commentators get SO excited that they yell the name of the player, then nothing happens : )

There was supposed to be a complete lunar eclipse earlier today morning, visible from 5.30 to 7.23 a.m. My brother and I decided we were going to watch it, so we set our alarms. At 5.30, I went to my window and tried to look for the moon. I couldn’t see it, so I went to my brother’s room. No moon. I woke him up, and we decided that maybe we should try in half an hour. The same thing happens, and we decided that going all the way downstairs and unlocking the doors and all was too much effort. So we went back to sleep.

I’m still in bed : )

Song for Today – Love Will Come Through by Travis. I think this song was on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy that I haven’t watched, but this was the reason I turned on my laptop just now. It wasn’t on my mp3 player, and I wanted it.

say it with me – ugh.

2007-02-26T23:46:00.000+08:00

Last week was Chinese New Year. Many people got a whole week off. I had, in essential, one day. Monday and Tuesday were public holidays, so we didn’t have our Abnormal Psychology class. But that was it. Thursday and Friday we had the usual classes. And to top that off, we had a replacement class on Saturday. Saturday!! That meant I had 9 a.m. classes three days in a row. Say it with me – ugh. We were supposed to spend Saturday afternoon performing community service as a course requirement, but that got cancelled.

On Wednesday, I had to interview the CEO of HELP for an article I’m writing for the American Flyer, the ADP’s newsletter which I’m still a part of, even though I’m no longer a part of the ADP. It was quite interesting. Hannah was with me, and the two of them found out they had something in common – playing Chinese musical instruments. We also found out things about HELP that we didn’t know, like the area from the main entrance of the main block until the bursary was originally meant to be a disco, of all things…

On Thursday, a bunch of us ended up going for Music and Lyrics, with Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. It was a very, very light movie. Predictable, but he’s funny. Friday was the first ever Student Council Meeting of the B.Psych. program. Being the newly-appointed secretary, I had to go and take notes and all. The meeting ran a little longer than was expected, so I was basically in class from 9 to 12, in a meeting from 12 to 2 and in another class from 2 to 4. Say it with me – ugh.

Today, we were supposed to have a quiz on Sexual Variants, Abuse and Dysfunctions for our Abnormal Psych. class, but that didn’t happen, even though I flipped through the second half of the chapter (Hannah flipped through the first half), pausing to read only what caught my attention – pause-and-squeeze technique, anyone? I read out bits of it to Lavan, who was laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe. We expected class to be “lively”, as Viv put it, but it was far from.

It started to rain, and Viv was going to give us a ride to the main block. She and Hannah had gone to get her car, and Lavan and I were waiting outside our building. Then, these two guys appeared and were talking in some foreign language. Being the curious (I’ll refrain from using ‘nosy’ here…) creatures that we are, we tried to figure out where they were from. Our guesses were Nepal, Pakistan, Mauritius and the like, but it was only when the moved behind us that we figured out what they were speaking was Hindi.

All I’ve been doing lately is attempting to study for some more midterms. Human Factors is on the 1st, and Personality is on the 2nd. Biopsychology is on the 9th. Ihave to go to bed now, cuz when I wake up it’ll be time to tackle Freud's sex life. Say it with me – ugh.

...and what i want is you.

2007-02-17T21:59:00.000+08:00

I liked The Holiday. I think there could've been more of Jack Black (he's funny, but a different sort of funny in this movie...), but I still really, really liked it. I knew Jude Law was hot and all, but ohmygod. There's this one scene of him in bed with his...okay, i won't say with who in case you haven't watched it, but it's not what you're thinking!! Anyway, there he was, in his pj's with a stack of papers he was editing, and he looked completely adorable. And when he smiles. And those eyes. And when he came in out of the snow.

There's this one scene he goes, "I've finally figured out what I want, and what I want is you...".

*melts like a block of butter on a sunny day*

hell week(s) - the aftermath.

2007-02-17T13:38:00.000+08:00

I'm on my bed, in sweats and a t-shirt. It's been raining all morning, and it's all quiet (except for my music) and cold. Weather like this would put anyone to sleep. My mother baked a cake. It smells really, really good.

Things have been hectic. I had two assignments due on Thursday and Friday last week. One was a journal critique for Biopsychology. I'm trying really hard to remember what it was about. All I'm getting so far is 'HILOG analysis', which is something we definitely didn't cover even in our Oxford/Cambridge-level Advanced Quantitative Methods class. Oh wait. It was about eyewitness memory. For Human Personality, our (very cool) lecturer had us write a paper on our Implicit Theory of Personality. In other words, he wanted to know why we think people behave the way they do. It was a very subjective paper, one that I don't think I could recreate at all. I had some help in the form of a little pixie with shiny purple wings ;)

Thursday was also when Ling left for Melbourne. Sue and I went over to see her before she left for the airport, and as I was walking towards the car, I told Sue that I already missed Ling.

I spent Friday night and the entire weekend with my Abnormal Psychology textbook. Our midterm was on Monday, and we had to cover eight chapters. The most difficult part is diagnosing disorders according to the DSM-IV-TR, which is basically this book that lists disorders according to symptoms. For the case study, everyone had a different diagnosis. But afterwards, we had a late lunch in Dome, BSC. The food was really, really good.

Some chicken and mushroom pasta thing.

Fish and Chips with Wedges

Apple pie with ice cream =D

Tuesday, my family and my mum's sister's family (minus my uncle) had lunch in Antonio's, this Italian place that my dad's family owns or something. My cousin was leaving for Dunedin the next day, and we were supposed to go out on Sunday but she was sick. The food was really good, and we all went home completely stuffed. Interestingly enough, the Cream of Broccoli soup wasn't at all green.

Wednesday afternoon, I went over to the same cousin's house cuz she wanted some of my really cool music, although she'd never admit that. There were things all over her room - bags, books, photos, cables...I spent the whole afternoon there, and then went home for a quick shower before leaving for the airport. We had some of her bags with us in the car, and when my brother was wheeling the trolley, I sat in front of it, realizing that I never walk in airports anywhere. He wheels the trolley, and I sit on it. After they checked in, we had dinner in KFC (yuk) which my cousin loves, and before we knew it, it was time to say goodbye.

Wednesday was also Valentine's Day. I've always been ambivalent towards Valentine's Day, but this year pushed me towards the 'dislike' end of the continuum. There was a lot of that going around. About seven people I talked to reported feelings of disgust and annoyance and such. It can be amusing, how people get so excited and all. But I still wanted to kick Cupid and Saint Valentine where the sun don't shine. Even the word 'Valentine' annoys me now. Kevin came up with the ultimate revenge - straighten Cupid's curls. I thought that was completely hilarious. I don't think I know anyone who actually got into the whole spirit of the day, and...wait. Scratch that. I do.

The last two days have been a little difficult. Somewhere along the line, it hit me that both my cousin and one of my best friends left within days of each other. A friend took one look at me on Thursday morning and knew something was up. In Friday morning's tutorial, I got the same thing from two other friends. But they still made me laugh with the boyband impression thing :)

Some people (including my brother) get a whole week off for Chinese New Year. I get, in essential, one day. I have Tuesdays and Wednesdays off by default, so they don't count. But on the bright side, I'm finally going to watch The Holiday today. Hannah said Jude Law looks amazing in this one.

Song for today - Into the Fire by Thirteen Senses. Priya sent me this song the other day, and I love it.

caught between all i wish for and all i need.

2007-02-15T14:30:00.000+08:00

This song is amazing. I hear there's a version by Chris Martin and the lead singer of REM, but I haven't listened to that one yet. Enjoy.

the world according to peyton sawyer...

2007-02-08T00:20:00.000+08:00

quickie

2007-02-07T14:35:00.000+08:00

So there are a bunch of things that need to go in here (the rest of the Thailand trip, Cousins' Night Out...), but since I'm smack in the middle of what I've affectionately dubbed as Hell Week, I don't see that happening anytime soon.

Eventually, though...

tigers

2007-01-30T17:54:00.000+08:00

I've been trying to put our trip to Thailand up on here for a very, very long time, but things kept happening. Not that I could name any of them right now, but to illustrate - I started reading The Devil Wears Prada somewhere in Thailand, and I still haven't finished it, even though I love it.

So, Thailand.

Day 1 - Our flight was at 8, meaning I had to be up very, very early. We arrived in Bangkok at 9 (their time) and after walking pretty much all over their new airport (which looks so much like K.L.I.A, it was creepy...) to find food, we left for Kanchanaburi. Our taxi driver didn't really know how to get to our hotel, so it took us a little longer than two hours to finally get there. Kanchanaburi in reality is nothing like the image you would get reading about it on the Net. First of all, there are no hotels that are walking distance from the Bridge on the River Kwai. If they say they are, they're lying. Unless of course, you're accustomed to walking for miles. Our hotel was a good ten minutes ride from the bridge, and completely gorgeous.

Pung-Waan Resort & Spa. The River Kwai is just beyond the pool, spa building is on the left.

After a quick lunch at the hotel, we hopped on Kanchanaburi's version of a taxi - a truck, of sorts, that was open on the sides - to go to the Tiger Temple.

In the taxi. Look carefully at my sunglasses ;)

The temple was the main reason we were in Kanchanaburi - we had watched this place on Animal Planet or something, and said that we were going. It took about an hour to get there. Thailand's scenery is so different from ours - everything was brown and dry. When we got to the turnoff, it was another ten or so minutes to the temple, along this very, very dusty road. That day and the next, we got so dusty! It made my hair look grey. Once we got in, we had to walk along another dry, dusty road to the canyon where the tigers spend their afternoons. There were lots of other animals there, mules, wild boars...but more later.

There were a lot of visitors. Apparently, that day they had 600 people. All these people come all the way here, even though some people make a fuss about it because they say the tigers are drugged. We asked one of the volunteers, who said that the reason almost all of them were sleepy was because they are nocturnal animals, so naturally they'll be sleepy in the afternoon. But anyway, you get into the line, and when it's your turn, one of the volunteers leads you around to each of the tigers while another takes pictures for you. Controversial or otherwise, where else would you get to be close enough to tigers to pat them??!

The volunteers are the ones in the yellow shirts, and the monk in the background is the head honcho.

Then, the tigers are lead back to their cages (and later fed roast chicken). The last tiger stops along the way for more pictures. There were two tiger cubs and a leopard, but they weren't let out. Later, the other animals are fed. There was all sorts of things - peanuts, sweet potatoes, and winter melons strewn across the road, and all the animals would suddenly appear for a feeding frenzy. Peacocks, families of wild boars, cows, deer, goats...

We went back to the hotel to chill for a bit and have tea (mum) and gelato (me - passion fruit). At night, we took a taxi to the night market, where we had what is probably one of the best tom yams I've ever had.

It was amazing. The lady person barely knew what we were saying - we just pointed at prawns and vegetables, and the food turned out perfect. After dinner, we wandered around the food side of the market. There were stalls with all sorts of strange things...

Fried insects, anyone? This reminded me of the food market we had to walk through the last time we were in Bangkok.

Then, we wandered around the other side of the market, but I didn't buy anything. A taxi ride back to the hotel after a drink at a little cafe and it was time for bed.

Day 2 next time : )

sated

2007-01-13T22:23:00.000+08:00

I made the cupcakes. All by myself too. My brother didn’t feel like helping. Evil spawn. I haven’t even had one, but it’s almost like I don’t have too. I felt all good inside just by looking at them. I made butter icing, but I wasn’t too happy with it. So they got little white chocolate ganache flower thing, with a silver drageé in the center.

Late one night, maybe a day or two after New Year’s, I made a little list of all the things I wanted for the new year when I was texting a friend. Cupcakes were on that list :)

I just realized that this, and the white chocolate mudcake makes me seem all domestic, but let me assure you, I’m far from that.

nebulized

2007-01-13T16:53:00.000+08:00

For the record, I don't know if that really is a word.

I had to go to the doctor today. My cough wasn't getting any better, but at least it stopped feeling like I was coughing up bits of my lungs. He listened to my lungs and was not happy. Then he said, 'nebulizer'. I had asthma when I was younger, and going to the doctor late at night to be nebulized was nothing unusual. But this hasn't happened in ten, twelve years. More even. So there I was, holding the mask (now that I'm old enough to do this myself...) and breathing in and out as deeply as I could, and I had this flashbulb memory (psychobabble). I was really young and sitting on my dad's lap in my pediatrician's office getting nebulized.

So anyway. My doctor gave me Ventolin, which I hate, cuz even half a pill makes my hands shake and my heart rate increase. But I seriously need to get better by Thursday next week.

I think I'm going to go make cupcakes now. I want them, and there's nothing on tv.

my "trip" to japan...

2007-01-10T23:09:00.000+08:00

It’s the middle of my first week back at uni. This is the first time in…well, ever, that I haven’t

>> Phone call

That I haven’t already decided what subjects I’m taking. I haven’t even registered yet. Not that that’s a big deal cuz I do it online anyway, but still.

We’ve had two Abnormal Psychology classes so far. They’ve been quite interesting, haven’t had this lecturer before. But it’s going to be a lot of work. The quizzes that we have in class are going to be based on forward reading. Forward reading!

We had an Educational Psychology class, which is one of my options for my elective. A friend said that the lecturer’s Filipino accent makes her sleepy, but he’s quite amusing. From the course outline though, it looks like it will be a lot of theoretical work. So tomorrow, we’re attending the Human Factors (and something something, it’s got quite a long name…) lecture.

After class, Ling and I were supposed to go out, but she couldn’t so I ended up going over to her place. She gave me all sorts of interesting Japanese things to eat, since pretty much all I’d had all day was a vanilla-frosted donut (yummm…). I’ve been sick since Monday. At first I thought it was an allergic reaction to my gorgeous Neroli Jasmine Body Lotion, but it’s definitely more than that.

Anyway. The first thing I had was something called mochi, which is this clear, sticky thing that had chocolate on the inside and chocolate powder (or cocoa. Still don’t know the difference) dusted over it. It was quite nice, even though it was really sticky. Ling had mochi with cheese when she was there. Later, I had something called kibidango, which is also sticky and kinda sweet. Apparently, this was what Momotaro (the peach boy) gave to some animals so they would help him do something. There were also some prawn crackers, which were quite strange looking. They looked like pieces of. I don’t know. They were flat. Not bad either. Then there was what is probably my favorite, the Tivoli Park wafer things. They were like love letters (the kind you eat) that had cream in between them. Unfortunately, this was also probably the least Japanese thing of the lot. What was the most interesting were these hard cookies. In each pack of them, you get a little hammer that you use to break it up. How cool!! There were also these little chocolates, slightly smaller than Smarties. So harmless-looking, but when you bite into them, there’s this explosion of strawberry flavor, somewhat overwhelming. Ling also gave me this strange looking thing that was made of brown sugar or something, and rice tea, which looked and tasted like green tea, except for a slightly rice-ish after taste. I have some candy in my fridge I haven’t tried, don’t think my throat would be too happy, but they look innocent enough. Seriously though, they like their red beans there. There was this green crêpe looking thing that was stuffed with red beans. There was red bean candy that looked like little boats. There was red bean Dorayaki. And get this – red bean Kit Kat. The cutest thing about Japanese food is that everything is individually wrapped. So organized.

I have to be up early for class tomorrow.

it's been a while (again)...

2007-01-07T23:27:00.000+08:00

Things That Have Happened Since I Was Last Here

New Year's Eve + New Year's: Apparently, New Year's Eve was quite the emo occasion for people other than me. I ended up with a friend and his brother, cousin (both of whom I tutor) and their friend at the Batting Cages on the rooftop of One Utama, from where we watched the fireworks from the Curve as well. Before this, it was what has almost become a New Year's Eve tradition - barbecue at my uncle's. The adults stayed there to watch the fireworks. Imagine being able to watch fireworks from your garden. On New Year's, we had the usual lunch at my grandmother's. Another tradition. Speaking of which, I kind of broke one of my own. I stopped making resolutions a few years ago, but this year, I ended up deciding that my 2007 would not be as emo as that night. People are leaving, and I will miss them buckets, but still. Later on, I decided that I'm going to not skip any more classes. Must. Go. To. Class.
This was the last week of my holidays. It was somewhat productive - I downloaded my timetable and worked out my schedule and everything. I reorganized my notice board to make more space for ticket stubs. I think it's turning into more of a ticket stub display than anything. I might have to get another one.
Ling came back yesterday from Japan. I went over earlier, and she showed me some more pictures of really strange-looking food, and strange-looking food that she brought back with her. All of it made me think that if I ever ended up in Japan, I'd starve. 3 out of 5 things she bought had red beans in them. Everything's written in Japanese, so you really have no idea what's in them. If I'm ever in need of a serious challenge, I know where to go. Japan would be the perfect location for my very own version of Survivor.
Yesterday, I actually juiced three apples. Not something I do at all, I'm more of the juice-in-a-carton type. But it tasted so good. Then, I decided to have a little detox day. Today, I had freshly-squeezed orange juice and a banana for breakfast. A fruit salad (orange, apple, pear) and watermelon juice for lunch. I don't feel any different. But it made me realize how fake juice boxes are. My orange juice tasted nothing like the juice in my fridge, which I actually love(d).
Yesterday, I went for my first yoga class in maybe three months. After I hurt my neck, I had to skip classes for research colloquium and finals. Then, it was Diwali, more exams, and Christmas. I managed sun salutations and all here and there, but it was far from regular. After class, I felt all stretched out and so good, but when I woke up today morning, I was a little sore. It didn't help that Jay and I hit the gym. I had to take my brother to the club for taekwondo anyway. I just had a soak with Epsom Salts to help with the muscles. And I wanted cupcakes today. I even took the butter out of the fridge. But my brother didn't feel like being helpful, and the thought of making them from scratch, and by myself...I put the butter back.
Who'd have thought that getting hotel rooms for one night in Kanchanaburi would be so difficult?? How is it possible that two hotels are fully booked in the middle of the week? It's not even peak season!! I'm still waiting to hear from this really, really gorgeous hotel. Seriously, it looks like paradise.
Our Christmas Tree came down today =/

cousins and hotels

2006-12-30T00:46:00.000+08:00

We went to the gym again today. A longer work-out though, but with Oasis (again) and the All-American Rejects. We had dinner, then I had to drive everyone (my brother, who doesn't really count since he lives with me and three of our cousins) home. Noisy bunch of people, they were.

From the time I got home till now, I've been looking up hotels in Kanchanaburi. I wish there was just one website that had everything you needed to know and that answered all your questions. Why have 483748374870932 that at the end of, leave you pretty much where you started from? So I turned to Lonely Planet's Thorn Tree. It was really helpful the last time we went to Thailand, so hopefully someone knows something.

Who knew looking up hotels could be so tiring. It doesn't help that the connection is still a little sucky. I can't get into Hotmail.

It's the end of December. The year is almost completely over.

testing, testing...

2006-12-29T14:22:00.000+08:00

There was an earthquake in Taiwan that has messed up Internet connections in lots of places, my dining room (which is where I am now), for one. Everything's really slow and sucky, and I've only just been able to get into Blogger. What's worse is how dependent we've become on technology. I was watching Star News yesterday...people in Hong Kong and all have it bad, losing buckets of money.

We're hurtling towards 2007, and no one has plans for New Year's!

We've been talking about doing the reverse bungy thing, first in Singapore and then when they opened it up here. I think we have plans to go on Saturday. I'd like to, would be a nice way to top off the year. But talk about scaaareee!

I'm not even sure this will work, so enough for now.

Laters.

tragic desires

2006-12-27T16:33:00.000+08:00

Today, I watched what is probably my favorite episode of One Tree Hill ever – The Tide That Left and Never Came Back from Season Two. Jimmy Eat World (!!) perform at Tric and central to this episode is the famous quote by George Bernard Shaw - There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.

Have you ever thought about what this guy had to say?

It is easy to imagine that not getting what you desire can be quite tragic. Yearning for something or someone you can’t have must be hellish.

But what if what you desire can’t possible do you any good? What if it’s just what you think you want? What if you were swayed into a false sense of attraction by a box of chocolates, a heartfelt moment between two characters in a fictional movie, or even the smile of a stranger from across a room?

A cynic would add that chocolates make you fat. And that what happens in the movies never actually happens in real life. And that gorgeous stranger was smiling at the equally gorgeous person behind or in front of you.

How much more tragic is getting your heart’s desire?

What happens when you finally get something you’ve wanted (assuming that you really do want this) for so long? You’ve been waiting, and waiting, and now, you can reach out and touch it whenever you want to. All that anticipation and craving has been replaced by a sense of satisfaction.

But how long can that last?

Will you always be happy with what you have? Now that you have it, will it become less appealing because you know it’s no longer unattainable? How long before you set your sights on something else that is just beyond your reach?

On the flip side, you may become completely paranoid about losing what you fought so hard to gain. What if this consumes you? You won’t be able to ever enjoy whatever it is you wanted to badly.

And then, of course, there’s the possibility that you’ll actually lose it – a fate that I imagine to be the most painful. To have something, and then to have it taken away. But is it better to have had and lost then to not have had at all? Would your life honestly be richer? Is it worth the anguish?

A romantic would say of course, it’s worth it. Everything you experience influences you in some way, whether it makes you smile more often or it makes you decide to get your head shaved. A romantic would say, if getting my heart’s desire is tragic, then give me tragedy. I’d rather live for a while than not live at all.

What Shaw did in twenty or so words was sum up the human condition. We always want what we can’t have. And if we are lucky (or unlucky) enough to get what we desire, we often forget to relish that because we’re too worried about losing it. And if we are unlucky (or lucky) enough to lose what we have, we often forget to be thankful for the fact that we did have, even if only for a while.

Song for today – Pardon Me by Incubus. I don’t like the verses, but the chorus kicks ass.

Pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world, and its peoples’ mindless games
So pardon me while I burn, and rise above the flame