tragic desires

Today, I watched what is probably my favorite episode of One Tree Hill ever – The Tide That Left and Never Came Back from Season Two. Jimmy Eat World (!!) perform at Tric and central to this episode is the famous quote by George Bernard Shaw - There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.

Have you ever thought about what this guy had to say?

It is easy to imagine that not getting what you desire can be quite tragic. Yearning for something or someone you can’t have must be hellish.

But what if what you desire can’t possible do you any good? What if it’s just what you think you want? What if you were swayed into a false sense of attraction by a box of chocolates, a heartfelt moment between two characters in a fictional movie, or even the smile of a stranger from across a room?

A cynic would add that chocolates make you fat. And that what happens in the movies never actually happens in real life. And that gorgeous stranger was smiling at the equally gorgeous person behind or in front of you.

How much more tragic is getting your heart’s desire?

What happens when you finally get something you’ve wanted (assuming that you really do want this) for so long? You’ve been waiting, and waiting, and now, you can reach out and touch it whenever you want to. All that anticipation and craving has been replaced by a sense of satisfaction.

But how long can that last?

Will you always be happy with what you have? Now that you have it, will it become less appealing because you know it’s no longer unattainable? How long before you set your sights on something else that is just beyond your reach?

On the flip side, you may become completely paranoid about losing what you fought so hard to gain. What if this consumes you? You won’t be able to ever enjoy whatever it is you wanted to badly.

And then, of course, there’s the possibility that you’ll actually lose it – a fate that I imagine to be the most painful. To have something, and then to have it taken away. But is it better to have had and lost then to not have had at all? Would your life honestly be richer? Is it worth the anguish?

A romantic would say of course, it’s worth it. Everything you experience influences you in some way, whether it makes you smile more often or it makes you decide to get your head shaved. A romantic would say, if getting my heart’s desire is tragic, then give me tragedy. I’d rather live for a while than not live at all.

What Shaw did in twenty or so words was sum up the human condition. We always want what we can’t have. And if we are lucky (or unlucky) enough to get what we desire, we often forget to relish that because we’re too worried about losing it. And if we are unlucky (or lucky) enough to lose what we have, we often forget to be thankful for the fact that we did have, even if only for a while.

Song for today – Pardon Me by Incubus. I don’t like the verses, but the chorus kicks ass.

Pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world, and its peoples’ mindless games
So pardon me while I burn, and rise above the flame