a world without pain?

Lately I've been thinking about how I missed this and decided that I'd do something about it after my finals. But I was studying and having a pretty random conversation with a friend, and next thing you know, here I am.

What I was reading about was Whorf's linguistic relativity hypothesis. Basically, this brilliant dude made the observation that linguistic differences contribute to different perceptions of reality. In English (or at least what I hope is English, I'm kinda tired...), how you see your world depends on the language you speak. Eskimos are kinda sorta inextricably linked to their environment, which is why they have heaps and heaps and heaps of words for "snow". I can't remember in which language exactly, but a culture dependent on paddy farming had heaps of words in their language to describe the different stages of growth.

All of that made me wonder what it would be like to live in a culture and speak a language that had four hundred words to describe "happiness". Would people go around with smiles on their faces all day? What about one that had four hundred words to describe the total opposite - "sadness"? What about one that didn't have any words for "pain"?

So many things have happened since the last time I was here. Things I wish I could erase to alleviate the pain in some way. Things that were probably the cause of my absence - I didn't know how to put what I felt into words.

Wait. No. I didn't want to have to know. I still have a hard time trying to pick up the pieces, and what's worse is when I think I'm getting somewhere, I break and end up having to start all over again.

Okay, so this is turning into an extremely depressing post. It's not like the last 3.5 months have been complete crap. I've had some good times. I've travelled. Danced. Hugged. Laughed. Shopped. Frozen :) But I've also had the most intensely difficult experiences I've ever had to face.

I'm dealing.

Slowly.


P.S. To the friend who put up with an intensely random conversation - *clinks cups of green tea* xoxo.