tunnel vision

**Edited Version**

this time, the assignment was to look out a window for ten minutes, then write about what you remember seeing for the next ten. critique.

***

In stillness, movement captivates.

The leaves on a neighbor’s tree wave gently in the soft breeze. An ant makes its way across the porch tiles. Another ant, a little further away, heads in the opposite direction. The wind picks up – branches sway, a dead leaf glides gently to the ground. Outside, a red and white taxi passes by. The curtain waves, and the scene is momentarily viewed from behind a haze of gold. A butterfly with black and yellow wings flits from a plant to another, its wings fluttering steadily. Outside now, a blue car. Sunlight is dimmed by a passing cloud and everything turns a shade darker. There is another butterfly. A woman with large, black sunglasses and a fuchsia-colored headscarf walks by. The palm tree casts a shadow on the grass beneath it. The passing cloud is gone, and everything is bright again.

In movement, stillness captivates. Vibrant colors are everywhere. The light green of the blades of grass. The pink of a hibiscus. The deep purple of large leaves. The white of small flowers. The grey of stepping stones.

Sounds are everywhere. The drone of football news that almost drowns out the trickling water from an indoor fountain. The chirping of a bird. A phone rings. One-sided conversation.

inked

It's done. Three weeks passed by so quickly. I walked into the shop, told them how I wanted things, came back 15 minutes later, made some changes and I was good to go. Half an hour later, I walked out with a butterfly on my left ankle. When the needle first touched my skin, I asked myself - is that it? And seriously, it didn't hurt nearly as much as I expected it to. Don't get me wrong, there were bad moments. But cuz the whole thing was over pretty quickly, it wasn't so bad. Now comes the fun part - healing.

of self-imposed silence

In yesterday's Feature Writing class, we were given a little assignment. Here's the piece I wrote on it. Comment away, s'il vous plaît.

***

I glanced at what was written in the notebook in front of me: “No verbal communication from 6 p.m. to 12 a.m.”. There was no way that this was going to happen, I thought to myself. I put my things away and left the lecture hall.

It had been a long day – back-to-back classes, defending a thesis I had been working on for almost a year, and then, attempting to tutor a preadolescent in the nuances of the Malay language – a feat far more challenging than it appeared. But I was finally back home and looking forward to a long, hot shower when I remembered this little assignment. Before I could talk myself out of doing it, I decided to give it a shot. With much reluctance, I informed my mother that I would not be communicating verbally for the next five hours. Her reaction? “How ridiculous!” It was 7 p.m.

While in the shower, it appeared that my mind was attempting to make up for the silence I would be subjecting myself to. Thoughts raced through my mind. How would I say the things I needed to say? Paper and pencil? Charades? Can I actually do this for five whole hours? Would my other senses be heightened now? I paused momentarily – did my papaya-scented shower gel smell any stronger? Did the water on my skin feel any hotter? It was only then that I realized that talking wasn’t even one of our five senses, although I know many people who would argue otherwise. I must have been a lot more tired than I thought.

7.25 p.m.
I was making copies of some legal documents when a name on the page caught my eye. Wanting to know why the man I call ‘Uncle Mike’ had Maria listed as his first name, I had to resort to gesticulating wildly to get my mother’s attention from across the room, and then try to explain what I wanted to know. This whole self-imposed silence was beginning to annoy me. I had questions and comments that I didn’t want to have to write down to get across. Her one line explanation didn’t really explain anything, and ‘Uncle Maria’ didn’t sound nearly as amusing in my head as it might have out loud.

7.32 p.m.
Into the room sauntered my brother, who reacted to my mother’s explanation of my strange behavior with puzzled glances that soon turned into sarcastic sniggers perfected by many an adolescent. I then had to fend off his attempts to do everything he possibly could to make me give up. I persevered, but my patience was wearing thin.

7.48 p.m.
I was in my room, contemplating throwing in the proverbial towel. Although I had no plans on being extremely verbose for the next couple of hours, I liked that it was an option. The gestures and the miming were fun for a little while, but I could see my frustration levels increasing steadily as the night wore on. It was taking more energy to not say something than to actually say it. This was the last thing I wanted at the end of a strenuous day. My mind made up, I left my room and announced loudly – I. Give. Up. It was 8 p.m.

happy birthday to me (again)

Yesterday, we took my dad to the fish spa in Bangsar for a little (belated) birthday pampering. He had his feet immersed in a pool and let little fishes nibble at him for half an hour. Apparently, it feels like electricity. The place is pretty, once you get past the squeamishness of the whole thing. After lunch in Selangor Club, my mum, brother and I went on a hunt for chocolate cake supplies. My cousin had decided to have a spur-of-the-moment family dinner that night (thereby resulting in the postponement of the Sushi & Sorbet Extravaganza I had planned), and my brother decided to make his famous chocolate cake – which is actually my famous chocolate cake. Jamie Oliver’s recipe.

Mmmm.

Anyway, he made the cake and I smothered it in chocolate. I was looking for those little silver round things like I used for a white chocolate mud cake one Christmas but the shops didn't have them, so we ended up with M&M’s, cuz we were told that the cake was actually a surprise for my aunty. No, she’s not two…but that’s the fun part. We thought about spelling out her name gave up after the first letter. So I just randomly plonked them all over the cake, and it ended up reminding me of inkblots (I don’t think I’ll ever remember how to spell the dude’s name…Rorschach?). My dad and my brother see a chicken. I see a chicken but the other way around from them. Someone else saw a map of Australia.

What do YOU see?

And the cake ended up being for both my aunty and me. Meaning that I iced my own cake, haha. I also got yummy Body Shop stuff from my cousin. I've never really been a fan of their fruit range, but oh my god. The tropicalness of the papaya body gel made me walk out of the bathroom with the hugest smile and an intense craving for the beach.

happy birthday to me

Turning a year older is always buckets of fun, isn't it :)

Last year, I was whisked away on a surprise (I only found out at the airport) holiday to a 5-star resort and was given an orang utan for a year. Rode a horse on the beach. Jumped up and down (and up and down again) on a trampoline. A little hard to top that, but I manage.

Because the ADP electives timetable wasn't out, I kinda had to attend a class from 8 to 10 in the morning. The night before, I was up late watching football with my brother, and then when I went to bed, two friends called so I ended up sleeping late - which I made up for when I came home. That afternoon, I went to this spa that my mum's been to a few times. She gave me a gift voucher for a full body massage, which is something I've never had and she figured I needed (My dad bought me a t-shirt I'd seen the last time we were in Switzerland but didn't get and unfortunately, too big for me cuz my aunty told him it would shrink in the wash - it didn't - and a Venetian glass pendant from Venice). I'm prone to tension in my shoulders, so I was seriously looking forward to the experience.

It began with a floral foot bath. You sit with your feet immersed in a wooden tub of flowers in warm water. The masseuse then scrubs your feet (which felt a little strange and ticklish) and dries them off before leading you to your massage room. After getting undressed, you hop onto the mattress thing, face down. Below you is a bowl of flowers, and the lilting sounds of traditional music fill the air. Her fingers start working, and the scent of lemongrass oil fills the air. (Almost) Every square inch of me, from my toes to the top of my head. Then, she had me turn around and she worked her way up. All. Over. Again.

Bliss.

It ended with me attempting to sip some ginger tea. Bliss? Not so much :)

Later that evening, the family (or two of them, anyway) came over for what I call "feedy-feedy" after a family friend used this term to describe cutting the birthday cake and feeding a little of it to family members. We had chocolate cake =D

Dinner was with friends from uni and school in Antonio's (otherwise known as the family restaurant), which my friends have never been too. The starter was a mozarella thing, then we had pizza, fettucine carbonara, spaghetti bolognese, cannelloni and for dessert, apple pie and crème brûlée. After all that, we wandered over to TTDI Plaza and walked around (as usual) trying to decide where to go. We walked through two places - one was ridiculously loud (and not in a good way) and both were full of people waaaay older than us. We ended up back in Waikiki Too, where much of the music was waaaay older than us. The same live band was performing, and my friends got them to play Wonderwall and Happy Birthday.

At the end of the day, it didn't matter what I did. It was who I had around me (and of course, those who were there even though they weren't) that was most important. You know I love you guys. Xoxo.

a chocolate palooza

When we were in Langkawi not too long ago, we bought quite a bit of (duty-free) chocolate. Yesterday, my dad came back from Switzerland where he had gone to celebrate his brother's birthday with enough chocolate to feed a small army. There's oodles of chocolate in our fridge. It's nothing compared to the 50+ bars we brought back the last time we were there (which sounds insanely excessive, I know, but they were for friends and family!), but we're definitely spoilt for choice. I'm not a chocoholic, but there's something about Swiss chocolate - a fineness you don't really get otherwise. And sometimes, it really does make you happy :)

bola sepak

My brother talks about football a lot. He tries to explain the differences between the Barclays Premier League, and the...other thing. Lol. I pay attention - some times. He talks about the games, the players, and who's doing what. It all started when I started playing FIFA during a semester break. Anyway, there's a big game going on now, Manchester United (I typed that as 'Untied' <--- hahaha) vs. Wigan.

I'm not a fan of Manchester United. Mostly because my brother is, but also cuz a certain player (let's call him C) is a complete drama queen and he annoys me. And also cuz rooting for the other team is so much fun than rooting for the same one.

Okay. Giggs just scored and my brother ran a victory lap around the living room.

oh. my. god.

I did it. I finally did it. I have an appointment with Lina from Borneo Ink. If you didn't already know, getting a tattoo is something I've been talking about for the last...I don't know, ten years maybe? In that period of time, I've changed my mind so many times that it made me realize that getting something permanently etched onto my skin was not the best idea at the moment. But I did it today. I walked into the shop and made an appointment. How's that for indecisiveness.

domestic undomesticness.

I made chocolate chip cookies today. The last time I made these was a little over a year ago, which is a really long time considering how good chocolate chip cookies are. The reason for that being, despite how satisfying the process is, it's so much easier to pay a little visit to your neighborhood Famous Amos. Or if you're lucky like me, sometimes dropping the odd hint works pretty well (I recently complained about a gummy bear craving and my mum, who happened to be grocery shopping the next day, came home with a bag full of them).

I'm not domestic. I just like making things. Later, I'm going to lock myself in my room and put together a collage my brother and I are making for Mother's Day. Cookies or collages, I'm so there.

tag - you're it.

List out 5 things you wish for:
Right now?
1. another beach holiday
2. perfectly painted nails
3. a phone call
4. more than a phone call
5. gummy bears

The person who tagged you:
H. I’ve decided to use initials for people I refer to. I hope I don’t mix them up...

Your first 5 impressions of her/him:
Okay, wow. That was a really, really long time ago.
1. Little =p
2. Friendly
3. Smart!!

The most memorable thing s/he has done/given to you:
Being there for me when I needed her.

If s/he becomes your lover, you two will:
Not surprise a lot of people, considering how much time we spend together.

If s/he becomes your enemy, the reason will be because:
Won’t happen. You never forget the person who bought you your first egg tart.

5 people you tag:
Seeing as how I have absolutely no idea who knows about this – no one. Or you.

5 people I want to erm kacau?
Kacau? Seriously? Ooookayyy...
1. H - cuz she made me do this.
2. J – cuz we just met up for Starbucks and the exchange of duty-free smokes for an external hard drive full of things to watch, yaay!
3. D
4. L – cuz I associate “kacau” with her.
5. K

Who is 3 having a relationship with?
Haha. With school.

Who is 5 having a relationship with?
His bed. Or the gym.

If 2 & 3 got together, would it be a good thing?
LOL. Won’t happen. But then again, they’re both kinda geeks...J just said – “I playED wow n I’m good at computers...I’m a certified geek =D”

What about 4 & 5?
They've met...I think twice. Both are kinda sporty, so maybe?

What is 3 studying?
Something clever. Disclosing it would make it kinda obvious.

When was the last time you chatted with 5?
We’re chatting right now.

Does 4 work?
Nope.

Would you be with 1?
I’m with her a LOT of the time *blows kisses* hahahhah.

How about 5?
He’s a friend. No.

Does 2 have any siblings?
Yup. An older sister.

How did you get to know 2 & 4?
2 = We were in the same secondary school and in the same class for two years. Now, we’re bad influences on each other :)
4 = Same course then same project groups. Now, the person I ‘kacau’ during lectures.

Where does 1 live?
In Kuantan/down the road.

Is 3 the sexiest person in the world?
Is anyone the sexiest person in the world? But – okay, I won’t go there ;)

off the beaten track

We just spent three days in Langkawi. My dad's in Switzerland (and France and Italy, grrrr...) for his brother's birthday and he's been to Langkawi more recently than we have, so we decided to go. Our last trip there was 12 years ago, and almost nothing looked familiar.

From the airport, we took a cab to our hotel on Pantai Tengah, which supposedly has the best beach on the island (more later...), and a little further from the touristy area of Pantai Cenang. The hotel itself is pretty - grounds were gorgeous but it lacked the famed "Malaysian hospitality", especially when we compared the people with those we met in Thailand and Bali. A little unfair, maybe...but anyway, the view from our balcony helped make up for it.

We left to go check out the cable car thing. Standing at the base of the island's second tallest mountain and looking up at where I would be in less than five minutes kinda freaked me out a little. What was freakier was the ride from the middle to the last station, which although doesn't go much higher, goes across from one peak to the next. That's also where this crazy suspension bridge is and if you stand completely still, you can feel it swaying slightly. Once you get over the initial WTF AM I DOING?! phase, the view is quite spectacular. On a clear day, you are supposed to be able to see Thailand (more later...).

Getting around the island is fairly simple. They have an extremely organized taxi fare system so you know you won't get cheated (unless your taxi driver tells you he'll wait for you and later charges you an additional 10 ringgit...), but the fares add up to quite a bit unless you're staying in your hotel and not moving at all for the duration of your holiday. A better idea is to hire a car - you pay 50 ringgit for a day and drive yourself around. There are signs everywhere so you can't get lost even if you tried, and the roads are really good. Watch out if you're driving at night - some places don't have streetlights and out of nowhere, a herd of black buffalos decided to cross the road. We found a gorgeous Malay/Thai place for dinner in Kuah.

For the next day, we had hired a guide to take us on a mangrove tour. What most tourists do is hire anyone who will do the usual, including a visit to the Bat Caves and feeding eagles. We found someone who doesn't believe in feeding the eagles and agreed to let us tailor our itinerary to what we wanted to see. If you're ever in Langkawi, don't go with anyone who feeds the eagles. This is unnatural and the poor things are conditioned to associate boats with an easy meal. Our guide was the man - he knew the scientific names of everything he showed us - the different species of mangrove trees, random plants, wildlife...

We took a route that bypassed the tourist traps, seeing otters, two types of monkeys, a HUGE monitor lizard, mudskippers and eagles. We went into Crocodile Cave (in our boat) - other tour operators just show you the cave and tell you that the boat won't be able to fit in. We also went to this Langsuyir place (can't remember if it's called a lake) and to Pulau Anak Tikus to check out some fossils. I loved being on the boat. After a while, I hopped onto the front and didn't move for the rest of the trip. Going out to the open sea, our guide pointed out Thailand in the distance. Phones started beeping - "Welcome to Thailand! Call home to Malaysia..." - hilarious. We had an excellent lunch in Barn Thai, literally in the middle of the jungle. I'm sure there's a road, but we got there and left by boat. Later that day, we headed back into town to visit the Eagle Square which I wanted to skip in favor of the beach, but my mum and brother insisted. That was followed by more duty free shopping which was kinda depressing cuz Cadbury chocolates here are twice the price of what they are there, and let's not even talk about the alcohol.

Back to the hotel for sunset on the beach. The waves were massive, bigger than the ones in Bali where we went body-boarding. The sand shifted to quickly that one minute it was shallow, the next, deep. Right before the next wave, when there's this whooosh and all the water and sand gets sucked away, standing at the edge of the ocean, the waves were taller than me. Dinner was in this amazing little place across the street. The ceiling is made up of boards that have messages written in chalk on them, from all the people who have visited over the years. While waiting for your dinner, you get entertained by magic tricks and sated with plates of peanuts. Dessert was complimentary watermelon slices.

The next morning we spent chilling by the beach and in the pool. There were these strange sluggy things with thorns all over the beach and in the water, and they didn't look too friendly so we stayed away. Our flight back was later that afternoon and we went for an excellent lunch a few minutes walk away.

Everywhere you go in Langkawi, you're surrounded by mountains. I'm guessing that explains the lack of a breeze - it was intensely hot. Not that it's much better in KL - bloody global warming. But the island takes laid-back to a whole new level. The roads we travelled on had just two lanes and no traffic whatsoever. Opening my eyes on the way back home from the airport, civilization kinda freaked me out. All the buildings and the cars and the lights. There, it was totally unnecessary to even know what day of the week it was. I miss it already.


Pictures are on Facebook and more will be on Shutterfly. If you're important enough, you'll get a link.