getting thrown into the deep end

I had my first class in more than seven weeks today. It was Substance Abuse with a lecturer whom we've seen around and heard about, but never actually had. She was quite amusing. She said if she ever gets an MC, she will call the doctor up to verify your symptoms and such. And if you have to miss a quiz or a deadline or whatever, you have to tell her to her face so she can tell if you're lying or not. Very CIA-esque, she is. It should be interesting.

She also told us that we'd be getting our textbooks today cuz there's a quiz in our next lesson. HELLO!! We just started! So much for having time to catch my breath.

I watched The Family Stone again just now. Towards the end, Diane Keaton's character is looking out the window with a smile on her face, and when her son's boyfriend comes up to her and taps her on her shoulder, she turns to him and goes, "It's snowing!". The look on her face...pure, unadulterated joy. It took me back to when we were last in Switzerland, in the middle of nowhere, and we got out of the car and it started to snow ever so lightly. At first, you don't even notice. And when you do...it's priceless.

After that, we watched Friday's episode of Friday Night Lights. There was one scene in which Tim wraps his arms around Lyla and holds her so close. The feeling?

Missing something so much that it hurts.

Makes it a little hard to breathe.

And then you move on. Or try to, anyway.


Number of things I think I should be having more of - 1 Green Tea

health kicks

I was making lime juice for after dinner (I rarely drink just water after meals) and I remembered my mother telling me our organic sugar is from Paraguay, as is the sugar they use in Ben & Jerry's Vanilla ice cream, the advertisement of which caught my eye in a magazine she had borrowed. For the record, I used a lot less sugar than I usually do, in light of my so-called attempt to be a leeetle more conscientious.

Which made me realize that our salt is healthy, too - Himalayan Rock Salt. It's kinda reddish and it was difficult to get used to cuz it's a lot less saltier than whatever it was we were using before, but I suppose that's a small price to pay.

So right now, I think I'm doing pretty okay. I don't quite see me jumping on the muesli (horse food!! yuk!!) bandwagon anytime soon, tho.


Number of things I think I should be having more of - 1 Green Tea :)

shopping with a blister

Late today morning my mum, brother and me went to One Utama. Before we started shopping, we decided to check out this carnival thing they had going on in Central Park. It was quite cool. They had lots of food stalls; free popcorn, cotton candy, caricatures, face-painting, airbrush tattoos (none of which we had. I wanted cotton candy but I had just had half a brownie before leaving)...and we even found a Sony Ericsson phone just lying on the sidewalk. We handed it over to the dj cuz it's no fun to mess with the universe.

Heading back into One Utama, we stopped by the so-called Digital Gadget-y Fair Thing cuz I want to get an external hard drive, but all they had were keyboards for RM700. Then we went to Swatch cuz I was annoyed with the website and I wanted to check out the Fall/Winter 2007 collection. I was wearing my new sandals and by this time, I had a nasty blister on my right little toe. We went to Studio R cuz both my brother and I needed new sneakers after ours got stolen, and surprise surprise, I actually found a pair! They're white with light purple accents and Reeboks like my old ones. Love.

We didn't feel like having a proper lunch, so my brother and I had pretzels before we heading to the other sports shop cuz he hadn't found shoes yet. Then we walked around some more (slowly cuz of the blister, which I ended up getting plasters for) and eventually, we went to WH to get pj's. Aaaages ago, I fell in love with these black pj's that had little hearts outlined in red and white, saying things like "Kisses"...you know like the candy hearts? And another pair, also in black with red and white words like "Affection". But they didn't have my size, and seeing as how these are actually for men, nothing but a Small would do. They don't have characteristically-male features or anything, and decent pj's that aren't complete frou frou or see-through (which kinda defeats the purpose of wearing them) are ridiculously difficult to find, so I got a pair with checks on them.

After being home for a bit, I followed my mum and my brother to Brickfields where he had a tabla rehearsal and where we had to buy rakhis for Tuesday cuz I wanted to go for threading in Bangsar. After picking him up we went for tea, and finally we were back home again.

I'm tired, and the last thing I want to be doing right now is exactly what I'm doing - reviewing another journal.


Number of things I don't think I should be having: 1 Coke.

almost

My two-month sorta-but-not-really holiday is thisclose to being over. At the very beginning, when I was lying on the couch and thinking about all the things I was NOT going to do, my brother asked me if I was going to play PS2 (I'm deliberately ignoring how grammatically incorrect that sounds) at all, and I said hell yes. He bet I wouldn't.

I still have tomorrow and Sunday to prove him wrong.

I got my results today - an A- for Cross-Cultural Psychology and a B+ for Ethics. I'm actually more annoyed with the A- cuz i kicked some serious midterm ass. But then I remembered all the quizzes I flunked (I didn't have time to flip thru the chapters the night before class, so I had to resort to making things up...terrible, I know. Shut up.) after that. There was at least one quiz I got 8 out of 15 for. So yeah. An A- is still an A...almost. Okay, no. It isn't. Grrrr.

Recent health issues have had me drinking green tea and contemplating a lifestyle change. Almost. We already eat organic vegetables and antibiotic-free chickens. Eggs, too. The only thing I can think of is cutting down on sugar, and we both know the chances of that happening are very, very slim. For one crazy minute, I even thought of cutting down on Coke. I don't know if it will actually work, but I figure it's worth a shot, even if it doesn't at all affect said health issues, it'll probably feel good to be in control of something.

I'm trying to decide if I should spend the weekend like I spent the last week (which went by way too fast) - reviewing journal after journal - or if I should just chill. Hmmm.

hmph.

So the one morning I actually decide to get out of bed at a semi-decent hour, it rains. I mean, come on. Who doesn't love staying in bed when it's all cold and rainy outside?

Getting work done when you're on holiday is excruciating. The lack of motivation is really, really bugging me. I have about two weeks left of holidays, so I've decided to stop working at my internship for a while so I can get some work for part of my thesis done.

But then, it decided to RAIN.

afternoon reflections

I miss being in class. Being at work is...I don't feel like I'm doing anything relevant. But I keep telling myself that by helping them send e-mails and update databases and put together sponsorship kits, it gives them more time to do the really important things. It still doesn't help with how much I actually miss going to class. I miss my friends and arguing over where to have lunch.

The Bali and Penang trips still need to go here. On Saturday, we went to Bukit Tinggi with some family friends. Even though we've been there too many times, the company was excellent so I had a good time :)

It's been raining, so it's all cloudy and cool and sleep-inducing.

Have you ever felt like the universe is against you? Or that to have something you want is a constant fight against everything and everyone? How many times can you pick up the pieces and put yourself back together again before you just stay broken?

I think what's most important is realizing that you're not in this alone, and what you're fighting for is so beyond worth it.

I'm not giving up.