neuronal conversations

Our brains, the cool things that they are, are made up of so many neurons, it isn't even funny. What's cooler is that we, at a certain point in time, have way more neurons than we need. Our brains, the cool things that they are, get rid of these extra neurons (the existence of which has a completely valid reason I shan't go into cuz I can't remember all the details and my Biopsychology textbooks are a. too far away and b. under a bunch of other textbooks and I'm still recovering...more on this later...) - a process called apoptosis, which is kinda like neuronal (in this case) suicide.

The reason I brought this up - 37.5 hours of data entry which I've been doing at my internship place. I am completely aware of the fact that it has to be done, and that what I'm doing is important, so that all these lovely people can be contacted for future projects and stuff. But oh. My. God. I swear, I can almost hear this conversation in my head (completely fictional cuz I'm pretty sure apoptosis doesn't work like this...):

Neuron 1: Oh. My. God. Kill me now. I haven't been used in the longest time. I've almost forgotten what an action potential feels like! *wistfully gazes at Neuron 2*

Neuron 2: Neuron 1, is that...you? Haven't heard from you in forever! Helloooo!!

Neuron 1: Hmmm...looks like Neuron 1 is trying to say something, but what??

Neuron 2: I don't know how much more of this data entry I can take. I am trained to make sense of complicated journals and pages of numbers and things with names that are so long, learning how to spell them takes forever. HOMOSCEDASTICITY!! The subtests of WAIS-III and WISC-IV!

...Okay, I got bored. Basically, the neurons figured they'd try greener pastures and proceed to off themselves in desperation. It's harsh, I know - but seriously, anyone can do data entry. I need more stimulation.

There's a deck chair with my name on it. Bliss.

purple

My nails are purple. I kinda hate painting my fingernails cuz they always end up looking messy, then there's the inevitable smudging and chipping. But today, I felt like it so I painted. But now, I have to stop looking at them or I'm going to end up taking it all off.

I went back to my internship on Wednesday. All I've been doing so far is data entry for a project they recently had.

Okay I really have to stop staring at my nails. I can work this. I just can't let anyone look at them up close. Okay.

frozen

this video is pretty self-explanatory, but just in case - on sunday, the 13th of april, 1000 people froze in the middle of a shopping mall. crazy? kinda. what's crazier is that this was the work of one person, who through Facebook, made this event one for the record books (or mine, anyway...).

it was quite the experience. i don't think Lot 10 (where we were told to gather and wait for little orange flyers) has ever been that crowded. people were just standing around, waiting, and you could tell why they were there. we were all strangers, but connected in the anticipation of something quite extraordinary.

if you look carefully, you can spot me, my brother and my friend at about 2.43 on the right hand side. i was sitting down on the stairs, eating a cheese-cup-cake thing. my friend was tying his shoelaces while my brother was "stealing" his wallet. i thought that was a pretty cool idea (someone stole our snatch theft idea) until i watched this video and saw that two other people did the exact same thing. my freeze pose was a total coincidence.

in the moment, i think many people lost sight of the real reason this event was organized. which is actually okay, cuz even if you went just for fun, you were a part of the tapestry (explanation another day...).

"Where human beings get together to do something in unison, without speeches or reference to their age, color, sex, beliefs and background."

that line was why i attended this thing, and it was nice to see people get off their apathetic asses and actually do something to make a difference, as cliché as that may sound. so here's the video, from Random Alphabets. enjoy :)

time out

Two exams down, two to go. I have to say, I didn't expect to find myself back here, but today was one for the record books. Dropping my friend home, we randomly decided to go watch a movie. Twenty minutes later, I picked her up and we went to get tickets Definitely, Maybe with Ryan Reynolds and Rachel Weisz and Isla Fisher. Cuz she was hungry, we decide to go get some sushi. By "we", I should clarify that I mean my friend :) There's still a lot of sushi that I don't eat, e.g. anything with seaweed or tentacles. Today I tried something new - a tempura cheese thing which was quite okay. We then head over to McDonalds so we can get (decent) food for the movie which was seriously enjoyable. I've been a fan of Ryan Reynolds from waaay back when Two Guys & A Girl was called Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place. After the movie, we went for dessert to Baskin-Robbins. Much to my surprise, they had one of my all-time favorite flavors - Love Potion #31 (or something). I ended up being more than a little disappointed with it. I don't remember what it tasted like before, but this wasn't it. Another friend of mine joined us, and the second they were introduced, they started talking about me. It was the strangest thing. I've known the first friend for about three years and have spent a considerable amount of time with her. The second I know from school. They both had the same things to say about me, and they found this extremely amusing. I found it strange cuz I don't get how they came to the same conclusions. At all.

Anyway.

It was a good evening. Food. Laughs. Ice cream. A good break from the hecticness of the past week. Tomorrow's exam is a strange one, then there's one more on Monday.

a world without pain?

Lately I've been thinking about how I missed this and decided that I'd do something about it after my finals. But I was studying and having a pretty random conversation with a friend, and next thing you know, here I am.

What I was reading about was Whorf's linguistic relativity hypothesis. Basically, this brilliant dude made the observation that linguistic differences contribute to different perceptions of reality. In English (or at least what I hope is English, I'm kinda tired...), how you see your world depends on the language you speak. Eskimos are kinda sorta inextricably linked to their environment, which is why they have heaps and heaps and heaps of words for "snow". I can't remember in which language exactly, but a culture dependent on paddy farming had heaps of words in their language to describe the different stages of growth.

All of that made me wonder what it would be like to live in a culture and speak a language that had four hundred words to describe "happiness". Would people go around with smiles on their faces all day? What about one that had four hundred words to describe the total opposite - "sadness"? What about one that didn't have any words for "pain"?

So many things have happened since the last time I was here. Things I wish I could erase to alleviate the pain in some way. Things that were probably the cause of my absence - I didn't know how to put what I felt into words.

Wait. No. I didn't want to have to know. I still have a hard time trying to pick up the pieces, and what's worse is when I think I'm getting somewhere, I break and end up having to start all over again.

Okay, so this is turning into an extremely depressing post. It's not like the last 3.5 months have been complete crap. I've had some good times. I've travelled. Danced. Hugged. Laughed. Shopped. Frozen :) But I've also had the most intensely difficult experiences I've ever had to face.

I'm dealing.

Slowly.


P.S. To the friend who put up with an intensely random conversation - *clinks cups of green tea* xoxo.

pseudo-reflections

It's the eve of new year's eve, and this apparently my 100th post. Woo!

Right now, I'm sort-of-not-really watching a football game with my brother (Manchester City vs. Liverpool), which is weird cuz a few weeks ago, there was no way in hell this would be happening. The cause of the change? PS2 FIFA. Football suddenly became tolerable.

It seems like it's the time for reflections, and resolutions...but seriously, who are we kidding? Does anyone actually stick to resolutions they make? You have all these things you want to do, but how many actually get done? And reflections? Pfft.

I spent last new year's eve with a friend, who insisted on us making resolutions even though I told him I'm not really into that sort of thing. So I sorta did, just for fun. It wasn't a strict resolution with rules (e.g. I must lose 5 pounds in 3 months or something...), I just wanted to make sure that I had a good, fun year, even with all the people leaving and stuff. I think I've done pretty okay. There were shaky moments, but I'm here. The thought of facing a whole new year is exhausting, but I've come to a decision to take things one at a time. Anything else would be madness.

So here's wishing for health, happiness and peace - have a good one.

the beach

We went to meet a bunch of aunties, uncles and cousins at the beach today, with 'the beach' being P.D., but a beach all the same. It was actually, pretty decent. The water looked okay (although no one went it - refer to the prawn incident), it was hot and windy, and I went swimming twice, which was gorgeous! The last time I was in a pool was in Bali - July this year. Considering how much I love being in the water, that's just wrong in at least seventeen different ways.

The past few days, my cousin from Switzerland has been staying with us cuz her parents went to P.D. a few days earlier than everyone else and her brother and his girlfriend have gone to Penang and Langkawi. We went to Sungai Wang (in sum = strange clothes, hair saloons, tattoo parlours) one afternoon. We went out for dinner, watched movies

...and now I've got stuff to deal with.

shopping and yodeling beavers

So it's been a while...I think I have a habit of saying that. The last time I did this was ages ago, before Diwali, which is when Charlie got really sick and I got really exhausted and this felt like the last thing in the world I wanted to do.

The semester's over, and all I've been doing is playing PS2 FIFA (go figure...) and shopping for and wrapping Christmas presents (with hand-made gift tags in the shape of Christmas trees) I was in One Utama five days in a row. I first went with my brother to get presents for our mum, dad and cousins, then the next day we went with my mum to get presents from all of us...then the day after that I went back with my mum to pick up some more stuff (this was after spending the afternoon in Midvalley with Hannah), then the next day my dad came back from India and we had to go with him to pick up my mum's present, and the next day I took my cousins who are here from Switzerland. So yeah, no One Utama for me for a while...

My phone isn't working. I have to take it to the shop later to see if it can be sorted out =/ It went weird while we were at church on Christmas Eve. Before that, we had dinner at home (mushroom quiche and pasta salad) and afterwards we took my cousin, who was with us, to A & W cuz she wanted a root beer float.

The next morning, we did the usual presents and breakfast with my aunty and her family, minus my uncle who was in Ipoh. Breakfast was sausages, scrambled eggs, toast and bacon. The pile of presents was pretty cool :)

I got earphones, Famous Amos cookies and gummies from my brother; The Namesake (the movie), more gummies, a new dreamcatcher and an Aeroline ticket to Penang from my mum and dad; a Fridays/Italiannies gift voucher from my aunty and uncle (mmmm); White Musk Body Shop shower gel and body lotion from my cousins; a yodeling beaver (at least, I think it's a beaver...) from Switzerland, and a bunch of moolah. Ooh and from Hannah, I got a starter pack from this new prepaid service called Happy, which is sort of an inside joke, but you can make calls for as long as 45 minutes and pay only 99 sen :)

Christmas lunch was in my aunty's house where we had breaded mushrooms, salad, paella (which was made by my uncle in a special pan he brought from Switzerland), prawns, wild boar (as requested for by my cousin) and roast chicken. Dessert was a gorgeous chocolate cake, apple crumble, ice cream and Swiss cookies.

For dinner, we stopped by the house of a family friend to deliver a turkey from the restaurant, and later on we went to an open house of a relative.

I don't think we're doing anything major for the next couple of days, except being bored. I'm bored even doing this. Blah.

hope

I left home today morning at 8, picked Hannah up and headed to Lake Gardens for the Terry Fox Run. Like last year, there were heaps and heaps of people. Also like last year, no one took the warm-up seriously. But to be fair, it was more like a cross between a joget and belly-dancing than a real warm-up. At 9, we were flagged off. The route was a little different than last year - starting at the assembly area by the lake, winding uphill past the deer park, coming out near the bird park, turning left past the orchid garden and back towards the entrance of Lake Gardens, past Lake Club, towards the playground on the right, around the lake and back to the assembly area. Like last year, bananas and bottles of water were being handed out before the run. Afterwards, there was Milo (for which the queue was insanely long) and some really, really amazing muffins. It was a little cloudy throughout, which probably made it easier. And it was, to be honest, more of a brisk walk than a run for us. The people who actually attempted to run had a tough time, dodging and weaving in and out of the masses of people. But seriously, good for them. It's an amazing thing, and it can't be for a better cause. Unfortunately, we've come to a stage where it seems everyone knows someone who has or has had cancer. The sheer number of people at this event serves as a testament of sorts to that.

So, here's to hope. Someone find a cure already.

an exhibition of the wrong kind

Hannah and me went to Midvalley today to pick up our t-shirts for Sunday's Terry Fox run. Strangely enough, the booth was set up in the middle of a financial exhibition. We had no plans on staying, but to get in you have to register and such. You give them your identity cards and they scan them and print out your information (SO cool) and even fill up a form for you. This was for a true/false info hunt, which we decided to do cuz we were there and such. So in we walked, and there were booths by a bunch of banks. We were initially just looking for the answers, but then people started talking to us like they thought we were really there for the exhibition. This felt a little depressing later on. Do I seriously look like I need a personal loan?? Unless it's for that purple Sony phone...mmm...anyway, they kept giving us things - pens, bags, notebooks. We eventually finished up the info hunt and cuz we got all the answers right (go figure), we got more free stuff - an MPH voucher worth RM20, a t-shirt and a calculator/notebook thing. Eventually, we got to the Terry Fox booth and found out that they didn't have the sizes we wanted yet. So we went to have a teppanyaki lunch and did a bunch of other things. When I got home, I spent like four hours making cookies. I can't even look at them now.

But I mean, seriously. I feel a million years old. I'm telling myself that they probably didn't expect people who weren't there for a reason to be there, but still. Grrr.

a weekend of shopping

The weekend is going by a little too quickly for my liking.

Yesterday, I was at this semester's Freshmen Lunch. As part of the student council, I kinda had to be there anyway, but the department also wanted to acknowledge our award, so they had a little prize presentation. I'd like to say that I don't really care what they gave us cuz it's the recognition for our hard work that matters, but seeing as how we managed to predict exactly what we would be getting (a Parker pen from HELP)...here's hoping for a leeetle more creativity next time. Apparently, we're getting book vouchers worth RM150 with the actual award (the thing is next week).

I just looked at my table and it's still there, sort of in the wrapper. It's got such a long name - The University of Queensland Award of Excellence for Second Year Bachelor of Psychology Program.

The other day I was in Midvalley and I fell in love with this top in Dorothy Perkins. It's ridiculously overpriced, but I tried it on and I was gone. I told my mother about it and she just laughed at the price. But later on, she said I could have it if I wanted, as a reward for the award. So yesterday, I showed it to her and had a proper look at it again. And we ended up getting it :)

I just got back from the house of a family friend where a little exhibition of sorts was being held. They get things from India (clothes, jewelry) and invite everyone around. I found this gorgeous white top with gold print and little lines of sequins around the neckline. I love.

The title of this post makes it seem like I did nothing but shop, but that isn't at all true. I so wish it was!!

neither awake nor asleep

I'm lying in bed listening to gorgeous new music (Sober by Kelly Clarkson, Apologize by One Republic & Timbaland). I had to wake up really early today, and it's all cool and cloudy now. Perfect stay-in-bed weather.

My last midterm was on Tuesday. I did absolutely nothing yesterday, and it felt a bit strange. Apparently, lots of people are skipping our 2 o'clock class. I don't want to go either, but I don't want to skip another class.

My mum, brother and I had dinner at Friday's the other day before watching The Brave One, and I made a new discovery - these little macaroni and cheese things. They're coated and fried, and they're completely amazing. It's on their 3-course meal menu. I wish it was on their normal menu. Three courses is a lot of food. For dessert, we had this cookie (except it was more like a cross between a cookie and cake, with chocolate chips) and ice cream. That was pretty good, too. Def. better than their brownie thing, and a nice change from Chili's chocolate cake ice cream heaven thing.


"I need you like a heart needs a beat, but that's nothing new..."

reinventing the wheel

Today, I had my first meeting with the supervisor of my undergrad thesis. For the past...okay, ever since I was on holiday, I've been reviewing journals about my area of research (eyewitness memory), and I thought I had a pretty good idea of where I was and what I wanted to do.

Leaving his office, however, I felt like I had been asked to come up with a way to reinvent the wheel. Strangely enough, that is exactly what he said he wasn't asking me to do. He had a very valid point - research keeps going on, meaning there are always ways in which current research can be improved upon, or gaps can be filled.

But hello, these researches have been carried out by extremely learned professors. We have been trained to critique these journals, but reinventing them?

Delusions of grandeur!

Being third year students and all, I know there are certain expectations of us, like not relying completely on replications of what has already been done. But we're pretty much on our own. How many journals have you come across that were authored by one single person? I'd say it's a very small minority. And these people have been through years and years and YEARS of study and research. Pretending we're all at that level...how is this going to work??

I guess it's back to the drawing board.

a band-aid on a bullet wound?

Unless you've been living under a rock or in a cave, you've definitely heard of An Inconvenient Truth. It presents the harsh reality that is climate change and global warming, and where the planet is headed if we continue living the way we do. Al Gore is one impressive man, and I have to say, it really sucks that he didn't win. As Hannah put it, instead of fighting terrorism, the fight would've been against global warming.

There was a screening of this movie in HELP today, which me and Hannah went for. I think the part that stuck with me the most was that polar bears are drowning.

Yes, you read that right. They drown from sheer exhaustion, cuz they swim and swim and swim and there's no ice for them to get out of the water on. And the visuals were quite influential as well. When ice melts, so much of the world will be under water that in just China and India (if I remember correctly), 100 million people will become refugees. Remember the devastation that occurred after Hurricane Katrina? That happened in a supposedly developed nation, and that was only tens of thousands of people.

This is the real apocalypse, people.

There was this one scene of a picture of the earth taken from squillions of miles away, and it was nothing, nothing but a tiny blue speck. It reminded me of something I once wrote:

How little sense does it actually make? Think about it. Everything we know. Everything we are. All of it happens on this spherical mass of land and sea and ice, and this mass revolves around this bigger mass of pure heat. And you know how in books they draw orbits? Completely imaginary. And all of that happens in complete nothingness, except for other bits and other masses. Honestly, the idea of space seems like something from a really bad sci-fi movie. How ironic is that, that all of existence seems so farcical?

As a friend of mine would say, I'm having one of my moments. To think, that ALL of existence is on that little blue speck that is slowly and surely being destroyed by the very people who are utterly dependant on it.

This picture is from here.

Actually, not slowly. It really, really makes me wish that people in this country were more willing to do something to change their habits. I think we're getting there - I have seen separate bins so rubbish can by recycled in shopping malls. But more needs to be done to make it easier to do good. Do we even HAVE those Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs here? What about recycling household waste? I'd like to see it being made compulsory to separate our trash, like it is in Switzerland.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. To start with, carpool. It's not immensely difficult. And turn off your electronic devices when you're not using them. Even leaving your phone charger plugged in when you're not using it is BAD.

It's not like we have a real alternative. What happens when all of this catches up with us? It'll be too late to say, ooops! Maybe we should've done something to fix this before it became an attempt to put a band-aid on a bullet wound.

jewelry

A friend of mine from school recently spent a few weeks in Africa building houses and other equally noble-sounding things (except the bit where he observed and photographed bizarre anatomical details of animals on a safari). When the bunch of us met up, he had a little bag full of souvenirs, and I picked out a beaded leather bracelet. Very ethnic and very pretty.

Today was Free Hugs Day at college, organized by the Student Council. There are pictures so I'm thinking this should be another post when I have them, but anyway, I got a friend of mine who used to go to HELP to swing by. He had stuff for me (Gourmet Pringles) which he brought back from England ages ago and has been meaning to give me, but always forgets. But then, he also surprised me with a Venetian glass pendant which is absolutely stunning. It's sorta got this stained glass thing going on. I love.

pain

I woke up this morning in pain. Something happened while I was sleeping, which resulted in this sharp discomfort that has become progressively worse throughout the day despite a very warm bubble bath with Epsom salts and liberal blitzes of magic voodoo spray. I haven't succumbed to a muscle relaxant cuz that just knocks me out and I needed to be lucid to get through the five articles we have to read for tomorrow's Substance Abuse tutorial.

A wise friend of mine once insisted that no matter what the distance is, whether it's 5 or 5084792809742908320 kms, when you're away from someone you want to be with, it's all the same. You would think it would be easier, being closer...but distance is just that. Distance. No matter how you dice it.

three a.m. conversations

:: Lady Patreez :: says:
ok wait the liver gets affected by alcohol yes?

nameeta says:
yup

:: Lady Patreez :: says:
k cool

:: Lady Patreez :: says:
i always think kidneys sometimes

nameeta says:
lol

nameeta says:
maybe they are?

nameeta says:
but livers are pretty important

nameeta says:
i cant believe i just said that

nameeta says:
how random

getting thrown into the deep end

I had my first class in more than seven weeks today. It was Substance Abuse with a lecturer whom we've seen around and heard about, but never actually had. She was quite amusing. She said if she ever gets an MC, she will call the doctor up to verify your symptoms and such. And if you have to miss a quiz or a deadline or whatever, you have to tell her to her face so she can tell if you're lying or not. Very CIA-esque, she is. It should be interesting.

She also told us that we'd be getting our textbooks today cuz there's a quiz in our next lesson. HELLO!! We just started! So much for having time to catch my breath.

I watched The Family Stone again just now. Towards the end, Diane Keaton's character is looking out the window with a smile on her face, and when her son's boyfriend comes up to her and taps her on her shoulder, she turns to him and goes, "It's snowing!". The look on her face...pure, unadulterated joy. It took me back to when we were last in Switzerland, in the middle of nowhere, and we got out of the car and it started to snow ever so lightly. At first, you don't even notice. And when you do...it's priceless.

After that, we watched Friday's episode of Friday Night Lights. There was one scene in which Tim wraps his arms around Lyla and holds her so close. The feeling?

Missing something so much that it hurts.

Makes it a little hard to breathe.

And then you move on. Or try to, anyway.


Number of things I think I should be having more of - 1 Green Tea

health kicks

I was making lime juice for after dinner (I rarely drink just water after meals) and I remembered my mother telling me our organic sugar is from Paraguay, as is the sugar they use in Ben & Jerry's Vanilla ice cream, the advertisement of which caught my eye in a magazine she had borrowed. For the record, I used a lot less sugar than I usually do, in light of my so-called attempt to be a leeetle more conscientious.

Which made me realize that our salt is healthy, too - Himalayan Rock Salt. It's kinda reddish and it was difficult to get used to cuz it's a lot less saltier than whatever it was we were using before, but I suppose that's a small price to pay.

So right now, I think I'm doing pretty okay. I don't quite see me jumping on the muesli (horse food!! yuk!!) bandwagon anytime soon, tho.


Number of things I think I should be having more of - 1 Green Tea :)

shopping with a blister

Late today morning my mum, brother and me went to One Utama. Before we started shopping, we decided to check out this carnival thing they had going on in Central Park. It was quite cool. They had lots of food stalls; free popcorn, cotton candy, caricatures, face-painting, airbrush tattoos (none of which we had. I wanted cotton candy but I had just had half a brownie before leaving)...and we even found a Sony Ericsson phone just lying on the sidewalk. We handed it over to the dj cuz it's no fun to mess with the universe.

Heading back into One Utama, we stopped by the so-called Digital Gadget-y Fair Thing cuz I want to get an external hard drive, but all they had were keyboards for RM700. Then we went to Swatch cuz I was annoyed with the website and I wanted to check out the Fall/Winter 2007 collection. I was wearing my new sandals and by this time, I had a nasty blister on my right little toe. We went to Studio R cuz both my brother and I needed new sneakers after ours got stolen, and surprise surprise, I actually found a pair! They're white with light purple accents and Reeboks like my old ones. Love.

We didn't feel like having a proper lunch, so my brother and I had pretzels before we heading to the other sports shop cuz he hadn't found shoes yet. Then we walked around some more (slowly cuz of the blister, which I ended up getting plasters for) and eventually, we went to WH to get pj's. Aaaages ago, I fell in love with these black pj's that had little hearts outlined in red and white, saying things like "Kisses"...you know like the candy hearts? And another pair, also in black with red and white words like "Affection". But they didn't have my size, and seeing as how these are actually for men, nothing but a Small would do. They don't have characteristically-male features or anything, and decent pj's that aren't complete frou frou or see-through (which kinda defeats the purpose of wearing them) are ridiculously difficult to find, so I got a pair with checks on them.

After being home for a bit, I followed my mum and my brother to Brickfields where he had a tabla rehearsal and where we had to buy rakhis for Tuesday cuz I wanted to go for threading in Bangsar. After picking him up we went for tea, and finally we were back home again.

I'm tired, and the last thing I want to be doing right now is exactly what I'm doing - reviewing another journal.


Number of things I don't think I should be having: 1 Coke.